I must write again about the compulsive use of cell phones
and tablets. At times their use can be insulting or
disrespectful. It is so terrible to see people sitting in
church services, weddings, committee meetings, seminars,
etc., and all they are doing, while the event is going on,
is texting or surfing the web on their cell phones or
tablets.
It is insulting to the speakers when people in the audience,
who should be listening, are giving their attention to these
hand-held devices. It is a kind of addiction. It is as
though they cannot put them down. There seems to be this
constant need to get information and to know what is
happening. True, there are some advantages in having a
mobile device, even while in meetings. It allows you to
send or receive urgent messages without making it obvious to
those around you. However, it appears that for most people,
turning off the cell phone, even when it should be obvious
to do so, is nearly impossible to do. Why is this
happening?
DOPAMINE
There is a chemical produced in the brain called dopamine
which some experts believe is the culprit. Writer, Arpan
Roy, in his article, “Why are people so addicted to their
cell phones/smart phones?” shares about this chemical and
how it impacts us. He writes: “Dopamine, a "feel good
chemical," is a neurotransmitter in our brain, which
although critical for more mental and physical functions,
play an important role in reward seeking behavior. . .
Dopamine motivates you to seek pleasure-giving rewards like
food, sex and in some cases, drugs.”
Here is Arpan Roy’s important point: “Not only are we
addicted to plain old physical pleasure, but hunting for new
information or just reading and learning new stuff provides
a dopamine rush unlike others.” He suggests that each time
we receive a new message on our smart phones, it is like a
new stimulation to seek for more or to wait and see what’s
next. For some, the dopamine rush is more pleasurable than
the immediate environment—church services, committee
meetings,
weddings, seminars, etc.
ACCEPTANCE AND BELONGING
Another reason some have difficulty putting the phone down
is acceptance or feelings of belonging. They might be
attending the meeting because they are required to or just
out of respect. However, for many they have a greater
sense of belonging and acceptance from those in the groups
and chat boxes on the smart phone. Smart phones, especially
when connected to the internet, seem to make it difficult
for many to make a value judgment about what they are
doing. It seems to diminish respect and honor and have
contributed to casting dignity and etiquette out of the
window. Thus, many do not really understand that the
distraction provided by the cell phone in a public meeting
is really disrespectful and even annoying to many around
them. The truth is, many of us are married to our
gadgets. Therefore, it is hard to break up from something
you love.
THE TEDDY BEAR EFFECT
Let’s get a little deeper. Psychologist, Susan Krauss
Whitbourne writes in her article, “This Is Why We Can't Put
Down Our Phones” that “New research reveals what our phones
have in common with childhood teddy bears.” She writes:
“Attachment theory proposes that our early life experiences
with the major figures responsible for our well-being,
namely parents or other caregivers, are at the root of our
connections to the adults with whom we form close
relationships. Importantly, attachment in early life can
extend to inanimate objects.
Teddy bears, for example, serve
as what the attachment theorist D.W. Winnicott calls
“transitional objects.” The teddy bear, unlike the parent,
is always there. . . Although phones are often castigated
for their addictive potential, Veronika Konok and her
collaborators cite evidence that supports the idea that
“healthy, well-functioning adults also report significant
emotional attachment to special objects.” (Veronika Konok,
is from the Eotvos Lorand University in Budapest, Hungary).
. . As compensatory attachment figures—adult teddy
bears—phones have distinct advantages. They can be kept by
your side and they provide a social connection to the people
you care about. Even if you’re not talking to your friends,
lover, or family, you can keep their photos close by, read
their messages, and follow them on Facebook, Twitter,
Instagram, or Snapchat.” Are you beginning to see why it is
hard to put the phone down?
Imagine how easy it is today to literally take with you, no
matter where you are going, your close friends, special
relatives, spouses, partners. These persons can literally
be on any part of the earth—thousands of miles away. The
internet has made the globe very small. One research
indicates that “the number of cell phone subscriptions
exceeds the total population of the planet.”
IT’S TIME TO TURN THEM OFF
Although we do enjoy the constant connection with friends
and family, there are times we must cease communicating with
them. These times are when we are in meetings or dialoging
with people in your physical presence or while sleeping. We
cannot be always stimulating ourselves. I like what
writer Allison Stadd said in her article on smart phones.
She said, “The truth is, our
preoccupation with our phones
encroaches on our time spent deepening relationships,
reflecting on ourselves, and preparing thoughtful work.”
