The Wedding Reception
By Barrington H. Brennen, June 2,
2026
PDF Format
What
is the purpose of the wedding reception? The
wedding reception is a celebration of the
beginning of marriage. It allows relatives and
friends to honor and congratulate the new
couple. I like how Wikipedia puts it: “A
wedding reception is the celebratory party held
immediately after the marriage ceremony. It
serves as hospitality for the attendees and is
the first time the couple officially receives
society as a married couple.”
Is the wedding reception really required by law
or even tradition? The wedding reception is not
a legal mandate. There is no statement in the
Matrimonial Causes Act of The Bahamas or any
other country that demands or requires that the
wedding reception be a part of the marriage
ceremony. There is no ecclesiastical order or
decree by any religious body that requires a
wedding reception. It is simply a tradition,
and a wonderful tradition. That’s all.
Wedding receptions began thousands of years
ago. In the article “What were common marriage
customs in Bible times?” It states: “The wedding
receptions in biblical times were vibrant,
village-wide celebrations. Rather than a
one-night event, the festivities often lasted up
to a week. The groom’s family funded the lavish
feast, which featured music, dancing, and
free-flowing wine, as notably seen when Jesus
attended the wedding in Cana.” Most people
today cannot afford such celebrations.
My
burden about wedding reception is that too many
couples spend lavishly on a wedding reception
and cannot afford the down payment for their
rental unit, new home or car. Truthfully, some
receptions are more costly than the down payment
for a new home. When their honeymoon is
completed, they have to live with their parents
or other relatives for a while because they
cannot afford the monthly rent.
If a couple can afford a lavish, banquet-style
reception with all the trappings, they need to
first make sure that it is practical and truly
doable. They need to ask the questions: “Would
we be struggling to pay bills after all of this
is over?” “Are we doing this to boost our own
egos?” Sometimes parents insist that their
children have lavish receptions to boost their
own egos. But the bills remain hanging around
for a long time like a painfully tight noose
around the neck. This is not wise. Remember,
it is not the reception that makes the marriage
happy. It is the hearts and minds of the couple
that make a successful marriage.
In the twenty-first century, I’ve observed that
mature adults with career paths are getting
married. Thus, they are funding their own
weddings. If parents contribute to the wedding,
it is only a bonus.
Here are a few tips when planning for a wedding
ceremony and reception.
-
Make a couple’s budget to include
everything concerning the
wedding—ceremony venue and decorations,
clothing, food, transporta
tion,
honeymoon, DJ, etc. If the proposed
amount is to large, be willing to trim
it down to a manageable size.
-
Start planning for the wedding day from
the moment you are engaged to be
married.
-
Look at all options to ensure you have
the best bargain for what you want.
-
Select wisely your guest list. Do not
feel compelled to invite all of your
friends and all of the hundreds of
family members to the reception when you
know it is not practical. The giant
crowd might work very well if you are
only serving lemonade and pound cake.
-
If possible, consult a wedding planner
or a wise couple who can give sage
advice about wedding reception planning
and expenses.
When I got married almost fifty years ago, the
wedding reception was simple. It was held at a
family member’s home. There were fruits,
sandwiches, cookies, and lemonade. Yes, there
was a beautiful wedding cake donated by a family
friend. Hence, we spent zero dollars. The
fellowship was most important. My son’s
wedding reception only cost $800. This paid for
the drinks, hors d'oeuvres, decorations, and the
staff to prepare and serve everything.
While nothing is wrong with having a wedding
reception with a full meal and lavish
decorations, it is imperative to be wise not to
overspend and end up with enormous bills or
frustration in the end. Make sure your wedding
reception, whether lavish or simple, is
remembered as a happy celebration and not a pain
in the neck.
Barrington H. Brennen is a marriage and family
therapist. Send your questions or comments to question@soencouragement.org or
visit www.soencouragement.org or
call 1242-327-1980
