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No More Tears Left to Cry

By Barrington H. Brennen, March 13, 2013

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Barrington H. Brennen

Are you emotionally exhausted? Have you been repeatedly wounded by a loved one and have shad copious tears over the years? Have you been disappointed over and over again by your lover, spouse, or significant other in your life. Through all of this pain, stress, and misery you have cried and cried sometimes leaving you sapped of all energy. Now you feel as though you have no more tears left to cry. You have said all you could say. You have pleaded, discussed, begged, argued, and reasoned, but to no avail. You have compromised you values, changed you lifestyle, and perhaps even joined another church, just to see if it would make a difference, but it did not. You even went hungry to bed, had sex went you did not want it, avoid purchasing clothing, changed your dress style, but you are still in the relationship. Perhaps you have a few chronic illnesses due to the long-term stress, and you are still there.

What should you do? Is it time to leave? Is it time to give up? I want to ask you a few questions. Is it worth staying? After all these years of pain, sleepless night, serious physical illnesses, do you think God is still expecting you to stay? Do you feel trapped now because you have given to up so much too long and you feel there is no where to turn? Do you feel weak now because you only stayed because the pastor told you that you were required to stay despite the physical and verbal abuse?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then I want to encourage you to be bold and do something to make yourself happy.

Here are a few suggestions:

  1. If you have not done so yet, seek professional help. A well-trained therapist can help you sort out your feelings and may have strategies to bring healing to the relationship.
  2. Write a letter to your partner about your pain and hope. Remember to focus on your feelings and not on what the other person has done. Use the "I" word instead of the "you" word. Say "I am hurt when you call me names." Do not say "you always call me bad names."
  3. Talk to a trusted friend, pastor, who is confidential and supportive.
  4. If you have done all you can then know that you have the power to chart your own course. You are not an animal or a little child. You are a grown adult. Hold you chin up and move forward. Yes, it might mean leave comfort of the house or the car. It might mean depending on another family member to provide. However, you will have peace of mind and your physical and emotional health will get stronger.
  5. Say to yourself "God made me complete, unique, special, and with a purpose. Therefore I donít need anyone to be somebody because God made be somebody."
  6. Rise up and change your life.


Barrington H. Brennen is a marriage and family therapist. Send your questions or comments to  question@soencouragement.org  or 1242 327 1980 or visit www.soencouragement.org


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