Your Hands Off
By Barrington H. Brennen, May 9, 2009
Last week I exposed the
truth about marital rape. However, many men are still perturbed with my view
that a husband can rape his wife. They say, "Thatís impossible. A woman must
never refuse her husband sexually." Isnít that sad! These extremely
traditional, rigid, and misguided men are allowing their false theology and
traditional family teaching to blur their objective thinking. They are
reducing their wives to sex machines.
The truth is that many
of these men have been taught to use women to satisfy their sexual urges.
"Thatís what they are for," they exclaim. They were not taught to honor and
cherish women in the fullest sense. Many men do appear to be respectful,
kind, and gentle to their partners but when the urge to have sex takes over,
they act like bulls or dogs in heat.
This could explain why
there is so much sexual harassment in the workplace. These men are very
often the ones who cannot keep their hands off women. They lean on them,
touch their hips and breasts, put their arms around their waists, and even
try to kiss them. Letís not leave out the women who also try to seduce men
on the job. Sexual misconduct is becoming more and more prevalent.
IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT?
Some are just plain
ignorant about what constitutes sexual harassment while many others are just
acting foolishly with persons of the complementary sex in the work place.
Hence, let me define sexual harassment in a simple way. Sexual harassment
is: Unsolicited physical contact and advances toward someone. A demand or
request for sexual favors; Sexually-colored remarks with colleagues on the
job; Showing pornography; and any other unwelcomed physical, verbal or
non-verbal conduct of a sexual nature. Interestingly, the victim could be
the person harassed as well as anyone affected by the offensive conduct. Has
your boss ever stopped by and rubbed your shoulders while he "checked out
the work you were doing?Ē Or does your co-worker constantly stop by to
flirt with you? A comment like, "Wow, you have sexy hips" can be sexual
The universal statistics
are alarming. Here they are: 31% of the female workers claim to have been
harassed at work. 7% of the male workers claim to have been harassed at
work, 62% of targets took no action. 100% of women claim the harasser was a
man. 59% of men claim the harasser was a woman. 41% of men claim the
harasser was another man. In The Bahamas more and more persons are reporting
sexual harassment. The statistics are embarrassing and frightening. It is
time that we take a serious look at a program that educates and trains both
men and women about respectful behavior towards each another.
People in the work place
can set boundaries to reduce sexual harassment. Here are some suggestions:
Avoid meeting privately after hours or over lunch; Avoid sending personal
E-mail and fax notes to co-workers; Avoid lingering glances or touches, even
a good morning hug; Shake hands only; Avoid texting a co-worker with whom
you do not have an intimate relationship; and avoid fantasies about
Next week I will explore
more on sexual harassment in the workplace. Barrington Brennen is a marriage
and family therapist. Send you comments or questions to
firstname.lastname@example.org, or call 1242
323 8772 or visit