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I Lost My Breasts and My Husband
By Barrington H. Brennen, July 8, 2004, 2020


Something great is happening in our country, and it’s not the economy, tourism, or the development on Paradise Island.  It’s the dramatic change thousands of women are making in their lives.  They are shedding hundreds of pounds of fat, exercising more, and having much healthier diets. They are moving far ahead of the men in healthy living.

Many of them have stopped eating red meat or have become vegetarians.   It is even more exciting to see women who have been grossly overweight all of their lives, whose friends or family members believed they would never lose the weight, are now beautifully slim.  Some of them have lost up to 200 pounds.    This poundage lost is having a domino effect among women today.  When an obese woman sees her obese friend lose the enormous weight, it motivates her to do the same.   So all over Nassau and Grand Bahama, women are reducing their dress sizes from 26 to 2 or 5xl, 6xl, 7xl, 8xl to size 4, 5 and 6.  It’s remarkable and it’s good for the health system of the country.  It is now a fact that the next time you see your old girl friend, you might have the shock of your life.

Are men ready for this change?  Of course, many men have been encouraging their female partners to lose the weight.  Some have even assisted them in the process by exercising with them. However, not all men are prepared for the dramatic body changes that take place during weight loss.  

Many of these women have not only lost their enormous weight but have also lost their breasts in the process.  Well, that’s not exactly true.  They do have breasts, but they are smaller than they have ever been since puberty and are greatly sagging.  One woman said that her breasts are smaller than they were years ago when her weight was even less.   What’s wrong with that?  Absolutely nothing is wrong with it.  Some men however, who depended so much on the nightly “soft pillows” have become unreasonably bewildered and troubled and are offering very little support to their wives.   In fact, some men who miss the large pillows, which they thought were beautiful, and from which they were sexually aroused, are saying to their wives, “was it worth it?”  What stupidity!   How ridiculous and insensitive.

Many men and surprisingly, most women, are not aware that the breasts have no muscles, only ligaments.  It is mostly made of fat, mammary glands (milk producing organs) and blood vessels.   The more fat there is, the greater the risk for breast cancer and other life-threatening diseases.  One medical report states “that there is a higher risk of breast cancer among women who ate foods rich in animal fat such as red meat, cheese, ice cream and butter during their 20s, 30s and 40s.”  Where is the fat stored in women?    The fat is stored round their hips and in their breasts.   For men fat is easily stored around the waistline.   Science tells us the larger the waist, the greater the risk of heart problems.  It is similar with breasts size. 

Since there are no muscles in the breast, only ligaments, a woman’s breasts will sag from the increased weight unless well supported by a good-fitting bra. Unfortunately, some women cannot find at good-fitting bra because their breasts are too large.   Once the ligaments are stretched from the immense weight, they will never return to their original size. While many men were proud of their partners “soft pillows,” they should be aware that they were more of a death trap.   Hence, husbands should be blessed and pleased with the smaller breasts, sagging and all.  Just think about it men, all along while you were tickled, sexually aroused, and fascinated by your partner’s tender, large breasts, you were actually being thrilled over a serious life-threatening physical condition or a timed bomb.  So be proud of your wife’s sagging, small breasts.  She’s going to live longer, healthier, and wiser. 

The Bahamian tradition is that if you look a little fat you are healthy.  We make this known by the phrase: “Wow, I can see she has a healthy appetite,” referring to the person’s size.  What irony!   How would eating lots of food, and especially fatty foods, be considered healthy?  How could largeness determine the health of a person?  Many women have grown to accept their enormous weight over the years because they have found it difficulty to shed the pounds.  Most of them were not aware of the great health risks.   Many of them were turned off by the “skinny women” and were taught that “skinny” was unhealthy, and “fat” was okay.   Now they are learning the opposite.  Skinny women live longer and healthier.

Some women have been carrying around fifty-pound breasts for decades, thus creating one-inch grooves in their shoulders, hurting the backs, and having difficulty bending over.  They are tired of carrying around the weight.  They smile and sometimes laugh, but deep down inside there is an enormous emotional and physical pain.  They are not happy with their body size.   One of the quickest ways of helping these women lose the weight is for their husbands to provide unconditional love and support.

Small breasts are in, men.  Enjoy them.  Smaller hips are becoming the beauty among black women.  Enjoy them.   Men, never make negative remarks about your partner’s size.  Be proud of her flat chest, stretched skin, and disappearing hips.  Remember, based on her enormous deadly size before, she is now a walking health exhibit.  Perhaps, you need to start doing the same.   Many of these women are having a great increase in energy and self-esteem. 

We do know that exercise will not help in making the breast firmer because the breasts have no muscles.  However, there are things a woman can do to help her breast look less sagging (if that’s her desire).  She can choose the right fitted bra, have plastic surgery, or take lots cold showers.  Remember women, it really does not matter if your breasts remain sagging or not, that does not affect your longevity.  However, huge breasts threaten longevity.  Great amounts of fat are a serious health hazard.  Therefore, do not allow your breasts to be a depository for this deadly weapon.  Be proud of your sagging breasts because they are trophies of your determination to be healthy, wise, and happy.   Men, hold on to your wife tonight, sagging breasts and all.  She needs you.  God bless the sagging breasts. 

A large number of women are also losing their breasts because of breast cancer.  In a scholarly articles entitled "Coming to Grips with Breast Cancer: The Spouse’s Experience with His Wife’s First Six Months" is points out that "Breast cancer is a couple’s illness, not a disease of the wife’s breast."  Many men are concerned about intimacy, romance and worried about the health of the wife.  Husbands, your wife needs you even more during breast cancer.  You support, comfort, understanding and care will help her cope and heal.  Truthfully, you can still be sexually attractive to her, and making her feel wanted. 


Barrington Brennen is a marriage and family therapist.  You can reach him at 1-242-327-1980, or write P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, Bahamas, or email at info@soencouragement.org or web site www.soencouragement.org 





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April 26, 2000, TAGnet/NetAserve / Network Solutions

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