There are at least two sexual practices we do
not talk about but which perhaps constitute the greatest secret vices of our
time. These sexual habits are anal sex and excessive and compulsive masturbation. There is even another
great secret sexual problem that may well be an outcome of the first two
mentioned. This secret problem is sexual addiction.
We are now learning that there are a surprising number of
Christians who engage in anal sex, active excessive masturbation, and who are sexually
addicted. They bury these daily habits in their external facade of so called
"holy living." They are often very critical and judgmental of others.
One would never know of their dark, secret habits. Let me define excessive
masturbation. It is masturbating at least five time a week, several times
a day, everyday you cannot get it off your mind.
- ANAL SEX
- It is not uncommon today to hear of teenagers actively involved in anal
sex. Many participate in anal sex for at least five reasons:
mistakenly believe they cannot get pregnant. Although you cannot get
pregnant through the anus, the risk of sperms reaching the entrance of the
vaginal entrance is real, thus increasing the possibility of pregnancy.
- They foolishly believe they can avoid getting sexually transmitted
diseases. Anal sex provides the greatest risk for contracting sexually
- Some believe they will still be virgins as long
as there is no vaginal penetration. This is false. Virginity is a total
body and mind experience and lifestyle.
- Others do it because they are
male homosexuals and feel they must satisfy the sexual drive this way.
It is important to now that there are some homosexual who do not engage in
anal sex because they they feel it is repugnant.
- Then there are still others who engage in anal sex because
they do not know better. It's a popular thing to do. Some are simply amoral and seek to satisfy
their sexual passion any way they choose.
Many believe that anal sex
is only done by male homosexuals. This is far from the truth.
Research indicates that some homosexuals do not engage in anal sex.
They think it is repugnant. In the research document
titled "Prevalence and Correlates of Heterosexual Anal Intercourse among
Men and Women, 20 U.S. Cities," presented by the National Library of
intercourse (HAI) is not an uncommon behavior with 36% of women
and 44% of men 25–44 years old in the United States reporting
ever having HAI in their lifetime. There is evidence that the
prevalence of HAI may be increasing in recent years, which may
be due to a true increase in the behavior over time or
heterosexuals becoming more comfortable reporting the behavior."
I have not been able to
find scientific research on the topic of HAI in The Bahamas or other
Caribbean islands. However, anecdotal research indicate that
heterosexual anal intercourse is prevalent in these countries, even
among married partners. [
View a Jamaican
research that indicates attitude but not behavior ]
If the man enters the woman's vagina after having entered her rectum,
her reproductive passageways are then contaminated. Both can incur chronic
infections like prostititus, vaginitis or a pelvic inflammatory condition"
says Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner. Studies have shown that about 50 percent of
married men and 25 percent of married women, 18 to 35, have tried anal
intercourse at least once, says James C. Achtzehn Ph.D., a retired sexuality
professor from Gallaudet University, Washington, D.C. Anal sex is certainly not
a healthy practice for Christians or non-Christians.
Research indicates there is a greater risk for infection with anal sex than
vaginal sex. The health risks of anal sex are well documented but poorly
publicized. The delicate columnar epithelium of the rectum makes it highly
susceptible to syphilis, gonorrhea, HIV and other viral infections predisposing
to anal cancer. "The penis and the vagina are clean passages, which are
free of disease producing microorganisms. The anus/rectum, on the other hand, is
a highly contaminated passageway. When the penis enters the rectum, the urinary
and reproductive tracks of the man are invaded with the germs from the rectum of
Is masturbation all that bad? Well, research tells us that many single
Christian teenagers and young adults are feeding the sexual appetites
through masturbation, thereby increasing their risk of sexual dysfunctions
during marriage. Let met explain the
or types of masturbation.
Stage 1 is the
discovery stage, which some may not call masturbation.
This stage involves little boys or girls discovering
their body parts. The attitude of parents during this
time will determine whether or not this discovering
turns in a habit.
Stage 2 is the
pressure release stage when one is fully aware of body
functions and may attain sexual gratification from
masturbation. This is also the stage or type of
masturbation used for therapeutic or medical reason that
may be considered healthy. At this stage it is not a
habit. However, this is the stage
when the habit is formed.
Stage 3 is the exploitive stage. It is definitely
a habit and sexual fantasy is involved.
Stage 4 is the compulsive stage when
the individual is compulsively addictive. He/she is trapped with the mental
and physical addictions of masturbation and finds him/herself in a cycle of
repeating a behavior that seems impossible to break.
Masturbation without disciple can be a doorway to addictive
behavior. No form of
sexual addiction is healthy. One gentleman told me that it was easier for him to
stop the use of marijuana than to stop masturbating. God never intended for the
sex act to be a solitary experience served through masturbation. God designed
sexual intercourse to be shared between a husband and wife as the highest
expression of intimacy. A major challenge with masturbation is that for
most people it involves pornography. Pornography introduces
a number of other concerns--objectification of women, moral issues
regarding multiple sex partners, the trivialization of sex, and much
In the article "What is
the impact of pornography addiction and masturbation on your health?" by
Dr. Riddhish K. Maru, states:
availability and dependence on internet porn to get a quick fix
of dopamine through sexual pleasure have resulted in patterns of
addiction among many people. Porn addiction is a phenomenon that
has been exacerbated by the easy availability of pornography on
the internet. It has not only affected sexual habits such as
masturbation but has also caused hindrances in the daily lives
of people and has become a mental disorder as well."
Should Christian single men and women use masturbation as a
means of releasing sexual tension to avoid fornication? With the
addictive element and lust thoughts and transitory nature, I cannot recommend
masturbating as a method for an occasional release of sexual tension.
However, I must be practical and real. There are some women and men who
have been sexually active for years with multiple sex partners or children to
different partners. Some of these choose to cease their sexual
escapades and live a more simpler, sexually pure life. They soon discover
however, that their sex drive dose not diminish. It is my view that it may
be wise for these person to use limited masturbation rather than having multiple
partner. Also, if the fact of masturbation itself is so wrong or sinful,
happens when a sperm count is needed after a vasectomy, or when it is
done between married couples (we call foreplay).
- SEXUAL ADDICTION
- Loneliness is one of the main factors in sexual addiction. " We do
know that at least 81% of sex addicts were sexually abused as children,
74% were physically abused, and 97% were emotionally abused. Most, if not
all were deprived of physical touch, love, nurture, and affirmation."
Dr. Mark Laaser.
There are several reasons people get addicted to sex. First,
some use sex as medication. It can be used as a "mood elevator or
relaxant." If an addict wants to feel a certain way, he then goes to have
sex to achieve it. Second, the brain gets use to it. Brain chemistry adjust to
whatever chemicals we put into it. "These include the chemical produced
when we think about or engage in sex. Over time the brain will need more and
more of the same chemical to produce the same feeling. Sex addicts will need to
think about or be sexual more and more over time."
- LEVELS OF SEXUAL ADDICTION.
- According to Dr. Laaser there are three levels of sexual addiction. The
first level includes the building blocks of fantasy, masturbation,
pornography, prostitution, and affairs. The second level includes
voyeurism, exhibitionism, phone sex, inappropriate touching, bestiality,
and fetishes. The third level includes rape, incest, molesting, and using
authority to gain sexual access. Dr. Patrick Carnes talks about the
narcotic element of sex in his book Sexual Addiction. He
gives the phases of sexual addiction as: preoccupation, always
thinking about sex; realization, serving the habit regularly
through masturbation, sex, etc; compulsion, the losing-control
stage, the must-indulge phases. The last phase is despair or guilt
-- lots of if -- relieved only by re-entering the cycle at the starting
point. This describes what many people experience who engage in habitual