Releasing Sexual Tension
Part 1
By Barrington H. Brennen,
2007, 2021
Question:
So, if premarital sex and heavy petting are out for
singles, what about masturbation? .
Answer: Masturbation is a nasty word for some, and a healthy word for
others. Why do some consider it a nasty word? Because of its association with
lustful thoughts, sexual addiction, and immoderate desirers. Why do others
consider it a healthy word? Because they say it’s a way of discovering one’s
sexuality and a method of releasing sexual tension without the involvement of
another person, or without having sexual intercourse. Would the need to release
sexual tension by a single Christian men and women be reason enough to warrant
masturbating? Would lustful thoughts really be a serious problem?
These are some
of the many complex issues about masturbation and many questions that remain
unanswered because of the personal and delicate nature of the subject. Perhaps
the practices of and opinions about masturbation are some of the best-kept
secrets among Christians in all denominations. I will combine the knowledge I’ve
gained in my counseling sessions with young adults with information gathered
from many books and articles to present ideas and principles that I hope will
give you something to think about.
First let us define the term masturbation. It is the manipulation of the
genitals with the hands for sexual excitement and climate (orgasm). It can also
include the involvement of another person or persons to help one in reaching
erotic arousal without actual penis-vagina penetration.
I will present what I believe are the different stages or types of
masturbation:
(1) DISCOVERY STAGE. This is the childhood period which is normal and
healthy. Parents Magazine, 1990, Dr Janice Gibson, University of
Pittsburgh state that "this stage of innocent fondling of the genital (some
might call masturbation) may even continue into adolescence. This is the stage
when the parent finds the little boy with his hands in his pants. He is
discovering his body and beginning to learn what each part is for, to his
limited knowledge. This stage is not usually accompanied with lustful thoughts
and fantasy, and it is not a habit. Also, the little boys may not be getting
"sexual pleasure." The attitude of the parents toward their
inquisitive sons can either prevent the development of a masturbation habit, or
drive them into an addiction of sexual gratification. According to Dr. Keith
Olson, noted author and Christian counselor, many adolescent boys masturbate as
mush as two and four times a week. When "masturbation" reaches this
intensity, it many no longer be a "healthy innocent discovery" but a
movement to the next stages/types.
(2) PRESSURE RELEASE STAGE. At this stage the individual is aware of
his body functions and has an understanding about the sensual feelings and
emotions experienced. This occasional release of sexual tension throng
masturbation is not yet a habit, but is usually accompanied with fantasy and
lustful thoughts. Although physical harm is not known, emotional danger can
result from such behavior. Because of the addictive element of masturbation, few
remain at this stage. This stage can also include masturbation in marriage,
which does not include lustful thoughts or inordinate sexual fantasy. It may be
considered a healthy behavior as long as lustful thoughts are not included; for
example, especially when a wife is recovering from pregnancy, or for therapeutic
or medical purposes, etc. Note carefully that God has placed in each male a
natural pressure release gauge called nocturnal emission. I haven’t found any
research on female "nocturnal emission," however some women have
reported having orgasms in their sleep.
(3)
EXPLOITIVE STAGE. This is the stage when the healthy discovery
and occasional release turn into exploitation of the mind and body for sexual
gratification. During this stage masturbation is always accompanied with lustful
thoughts and sexual fantasies. At this stage masturbation many not be a
compulsive habit but it is considered by the masturbator a very enjoyable way of
sexual expression. She/he may be lured into the self-made trap of lust,
pornography, dirty literature, etc.
(4) COMPULSIVE STAGE.
This is the continuation of the exploitive stage,
when the habit produces the desire and the desire the habit. I call this the
addictive stage. One young man who had a daily habit of masturbating told me
that it was harder for him stop masturbating than it was to break the habit of
using drugs. Some excuses for this type of behavior would be boredom,
loneliness, frustration, insecurity, and self-centeredness. Whenever
masturbation becomes exploitive, compulsive, and includes fantasy and lustful
thoughts, certainly we can use the terms "degrading vice,"
"bewitching vice," "soul-and-body-destroying vice,"
"secret vice."
I am sure you are
wondering where I am heading with is subject. Is there any good in masturbation?
Should Christian single men and women use masturbation as a means of releasing
sexual tension to avoid fornication? However, I must be practical and real.
There are some women and men who have been sexually active for years with
multiple sex partners or children to different partners. Some of
these choose to cease their sexual escapades and live a more simpler, sexually
pure life. They soon discover however, that their sex drive dose not
diminish. It is my view that it may be wise for these person to use
limited masturbation rather than having multiple partner.
Part
2
Send your questions
and comments to Barrington Brennen at info@soencouragement.org or call 1-242-327-1980 or visit
www.soencouragement.org
