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Cayenne Pepper and Your Marriage

Barrington H. Brennen, March 18, 2018

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Have you ever attended a marriage enrichment seminar on a cruise ship?  Soon there will be an opportunity for you to do so.  I will be conducting an exciting and invigorating marriage seminar entitled, “Keeping It HOTT Marriage Enrichment Seminar,” on board the Royal Caribbean Allure of the Seas Cruise Ship on July 21 to 27, 2019, to the Western Caribbean.  Couples from The Bahamas and around the world are invited to come on the cruise.  It’s going to be hot, hot, hot.   I got the idea of seminar title, “Keeping It HOTT,” after eating cayenne pepper and discovering its wonderful benefits. 


Cayenne pepper is perhaps the best pepper for the human body because it has lots of valuable health benefits.  I will share a few of these benefits toward the end of this article and explain briefly how it relates to marriage enrichment.  Keep in mind that my use of the word “hot” has little to do with sex and more to do with a total package of loving in a romantic relationship.


If you want to really learn about how to have a “hot” marriage, then hurry to register and pay your deposit for the Keeping it HOTT Marriage Enrichment Cruise by April 4, 2018 to benefit from an early bird registration fee.   You’ve noticed the unique spelling for the word “hot.”  It has two “Ts” making it an acronym which means: “Humble, Overflowing, Truthful, and Tantalizing.” 


I’ve learned through my 23 years as a marriage and family therapist, that humility is truly the first or most important ingredient to make a marriage hot—healthy.   Humility is the ability and freedom to admit wrong, apologize, change, adapt, forgive and receive forgiveness, listen to objective criticism, etc.   I’ve observed from my couples that if both partners can do these things, change and healing can take place in wounded, and seemingly, the most painful relationships. 


On the other hand, pride, laziness, stubbornness and selfishness are the primary reasons relationships are dissolved.   In my 2002 article entitled, “Why So Many Divorces,” I said that “If hurting couples would sit at the table of humility and swallow their pride, at least 90 percent of all potential divorces could be avoided.”  Being able to admit you are wrong, even if you did not cause all the pain, is a precious gift to the relationship.  On the cruise in 2019, I certainly will be expounded more on this topic.


What about the word “Overflowing?”   Well this can have many meanings.  The word “overflow” suggests plentiful, abundance, or more than enough.  Thus, I am suggesting that in a healthy marriage, it will be overflowing with sweet passion, graceful words, acts of kindness, gentleness of spirit, a warm heart of compassion, and an irresistible, attractive attitude.  


The word truthful might be self-explanatory to many.  Sadly, far too many are not fully truthful.  Truthfulness has two components: honesty and openness.   Honesty means that when someone is asked or confronted with a question, he will always tell the truth. She will not lie.   Openness is volunteering the truth.  Openness is exposing or revealing the information or truth without it being coaxed out of you.  For example, if a spouse asked a specific question he or she will truthfully respond.  However, if the question is not asked, the spouse will keep the information a secret, even though it is important to inform his or her partner.  This is not being open.  So that really means that many can say they never lie but, they are not truly open.


The last letter in the word HOTT is for the word “Tantalizing.”    Tantalizing can have several shades of meaning.  The one that applies best is “enticing.”  This word is closely related to “overflowing” in the acronym HOTT.   The dictionary explains that “If someone or something tantalizes you, he makes you feel hopeful and excited about getting what you want . . .”  This is great in marriage.  You always want to do things that entices your partner to want to be in your presence.   The late poet laureate, Robert Frost, gives this definition of love that demonstrates my point.  He wrote: “Love is the irritable desire to be irresistibility desired.”  We all want to be irresistible to the other in our lives.  An unknown blogger expounds on David Frost’s definition of love with this description: “Love is the overpowering appeal and longing to be impossible to resist by the object of your longing.”  The point is that one’s attitude and behavior will make herself irresistible to a partner and not a pain in the neck. 




Now I will share some benefits of Cayenne pepper, so you can understand how I developed the “cayenne pepper principles” in marriage.  Studies show that “Cayenne pepper, by weight, is high in vitamin A. It also contains Vitamin B6, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, riboflavin, potassium, and manganese.”   “Cayenne pepper consumption dilates the blood vessels and speeds the metabolism due to the high amounts of capsaicin. With the consumption of cayenne peppers, the amount of heat the human body puts off is influenced. In animal studies, capsaicin has the ability to boost metabolism, which in turn causes weight loss.”  Cayenne pepper has anti-irritant properties, is an anti-cold and flu agent, helps to reduce atherosclerosis, encourages fibrinolytic activity, and prevents factors that lead to the formation of blood clots, acts as a joint-pain reliever,” and much more.   After studying these benefits, I decided to use these benefits and a symbol of ingredients in a health marriage.  Thus, I formulated the Cayenne Pepper Principles in Marriage.Barrington H. Brennen, seminar speaker When we make these principles a part of our relationship they keep away the deadly irritants of unfaithfulness, pornography, and flirtatious behavior. They fight against the colds and flues of unforgiving spirit, lack of trust, and judgmental attitudes.   What are these cayenne pepper principles?  At a future date I will share them with you.



If you want an enrichment or healing in your relationship, or you just want a special romantic time away from home, them join the Keeping It HOTT Marriage Enrichment Cruise July 21 to 27, 2018.  But you must hurry now to register before April 4, 2018 to enjoy the early bird registration fee.   There will be seminars each day on the cruise but much more time to have fun, relax, and explore.  It is my desire that by the end of the cruise couples will be using “the Cayenne Pepper Principles” in their romantic diet.    Visit the website www.soencouragement.org and click on the “Keeping It HOTT” graphic.   It will take you to a webpage that explains everything and give the prices.   Follow the instructions carefully.



Barrington H. Brennen, MA, NCP, BCCP, is a marriage and family therapist and board certified clinical psychotherapist, USA. Send your questions or comments to barringtonbrennen@gmail.com   or write to P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas, or visit www.soencouragement.org   or call 242-327-1980.








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