Cayenne Pepper is hot, hot, hot. After learning
about the value, properties and benefits of
Cayenne Pepper it gave me the idea to name my
seminars “Keeping It HOTT” (Hot with two
“Ts”). I use “Keeping it HOTT” as a title for
all of the relationship, parenting, singles,
seminar that I conduct.
Cayenne pepper is perhaps the best pepper for
the human body because it has lots of valuable
health benefits. I will share a few of these
benefits toward the end of this article and
explain briefly how it relates to marriage
enrichment. Keep in mind that my use of the
word “hot” has little to do with sex and more to
do with a total package of loving in a romantic,
parenting, or courting relationship.
You’ve noticed the unique spelling for the word
“hot.” It has two “Ts” making it an acronym
which means: “Humble, Overflowing, Truthful,
and Tantalizing.”
H
--- The word is "Humble" I’ve learned through my
decades as a
marriage and family therapist, that humility is
truly the first or most important ingredient to
make a marriage hot—healthy. Humility is the
ability and freedom to admit wrong, apologize,
change, adapt, forgive and receive forgiveness,
listen to objective criticism, etc. I’ve
observed from my couples that if both partners
can do these things, change and healing can take
place in wounded, and seemingly, the most
painful relationships.
On the other hand, pride, laziness, stubbornness
and selfishness are the primary reasons
relationships are dissolved. In my 2002
article entitled, “Why So Many Divorces,” I said
that “If hurting couples would sit at the table
of humility and swallow their pride, at least 90
percent of all potential divorces could be
avoided.” Being
able to admit you are wrong,
even if you did not cause all the pain, is a
precious gift to the relationship.
O
--- Then there is the letter “O” which means “Overflowing”
Well this can have many meanings. The word
“overflow” suggests plentiful, abundance, or
more than enough. Thus, I am suggesting that in
a healthy marriage, it will be overflowing with
sweet passion, graceful words, acts of kindness,
gentleness of spirit, a warm heart of
compassion, and an irresistible, attractive
attitude.
T
--- The word “Truthful” might be
self-explanatory to many. Sadly, far too many
are not fully truthful. Truthfulness has two
components: honesty and openness. Honesty
means that when someone is asked or confronted
with a question, he will always tell the truth.
She will not lie. Openness is volunteering the
truth. Openness is exposing or revealing the
information or truth without it being coaxed out
of you. For example, if a spouse asked a
specific question he or she will truthfully
respond. However, if the question is not asked,
the spouse will keep the information a secret,
even though it is important to inform his or her
partner. This is not being open. So that
really means that many can say they never lie
but, they are not truly open.
T
---
The last letter in the word HOTT is for the
word “Tantalizing.” Tantalizing can
have several shades of meaning. The
one that
applies best is “enticing.” This word is
closely related to “overflowing” in the acronym
HOTT. The dictionary explains that “If someone
or something tantalizes you, he makes you feel
hopeful and excited about getting what you want
. . .” This is great in marriage. You always
want to do things that entices your partner to
want to be in your presence. The late poet
laureate, Robert Frost, gives this definition of
love that demonstrates my point. He wrote:
“Love is the irritable desire to be
irresistibility desired.” We all want to be
irresistible to the other in our lives. An
unknown blogger expounds on David Frost’s
definition of love with this description: “Love
is the overpowering appeal and longing to be
impossible to resist by the object of your
longing.” The point is that one’s attitude and
behavior will make herself irresistible to a
partner and not a pain in the neck.
CAYENNE PEPPER PRINCIPLES
Now I will share some benefits of Cayenne
pepper, so you can understand how I developed
the “cayenne pepper principles” in marriage.
Studies show that “Cayenne pepper, by weight, is
high in vitamin A. It also contains Vitamin B6,
Vitamin E, Vitamin C, riboflavin, potassium, and
manganese.” “Cayenne pepper consumption
dilates the blood vessels and speeds the
metabolism due to the high amounts of capsaicin.
With the consumption of cayenne peppers, the
amount of heat the human body puts off is
influenced. In animal studies, capsaicin has the
ability to boost metabolism, which in turn
causes weight loss.”
Cayenne pepper has anti-irritant properties, is
an anti-cold and flu agent, helps to reduce
atherosclerosis, encourages fibrinolytic
activity, and prevents factors that lead to the
formation of blood clots, acts as a joint-pain
reliever,” and much more. After studying these
benefits, I decided to use these benefits and a
symbol of ingredients in a healthy marriage.
Thus, I formulated the Cayenne Pepper Principles
in Marriage.
When we make these principles a part of our
relationship, they keep away the deadly
irritants of unfaithfulness, stubbornness,
pornography, and flirtatious behavior. They
fight against the colds and flues of unforgiving
spirit, lack of trust, and judgmental
attitudes. Do you need Cayenne Pepper for your
marriage?
I invite you to attend a Keeping it HOTT
Relationship Seminar.
Barrington H. Brennen has been a marriage and
family therapist thirty one years. Send your
questions or comments to
question@soencouragement.org or visit www.soencouragement.org
or call 242-327-1980.
