Last week I shared about Royal
Bahamian dogs who are determined to do what they know is
right and proper— keeping the streets and communities of The
Bahamas dirty and nasty. The article was entitled, “Lesson
learned from Royal Bahamian Dogs.” Interestingly, a
so-called sophisticated descendant of a royal canine breed
who lives in an under-privileged community where nastiness
is not seen or heard of, read the article and sent to me a
letter that I must share.
Here’s what the Royal canine
sent to me: “Dear Barrington Brennen, I read your article
last week and felt emotionally wounded by what you said.
You seem to believe that all dogs are living in dirty and
nasty communities. I’ve been struggling for years to get
out of this neighborhood, but I am on lockdown. The grass
is always green. The wholesome nasty trash that dogs thrive
on is out of sight. This is keeping some of us underweight
and we are losing our
dog muscle tone. I live in an underprivileged canine
community and it is really not healthy.
The humans in my neighborhood
send all canines living here to what they call Canine
Obedience School. They say it is to make us more civil and
to bring out our true self. It’s boring and stupid and it
is causing us to lose our minds. What I do not like in
this neighborhood is that the humans have already destroyed
the important ecosystem between rat and dog. Rats help
hard-working canines like me, to keep the environment stink
and nasty, thus creating
a healthy, rich environment for our friends, the
cockroaches. I just want to let you know that some of the
Royal Bahamian canines in my community have been so
brainwashed by humans that they are joining humans in
supporting the Government to create more clean communities
like this one. This is outrageous!
I want your readers to know that
unlike other privileged canines, I live in a nasty-free
community and it is not nice. Dogs always look and smell
clean. They have lost the wholesome gift of nastiness.
There are no royal stink scents in the air from the
much-need roadside trash. There are no gracious flies and
bugs. Dogs don’t bark at people passing by. The humans
make us wear collars that stop things from biting us. My
friends here have lost the art of daily scratching
themselves to sooth the much-need itches caused from
friendly ticks that remind us we are truly Royal Bahamian
canines. I need to get out of here. I need to live a
normal dog life where dogs rule and stink and nasty
reign.
Here’s my question: Would you
help me find some Royal Bahamian dogs who live in privileged
nasty communities to help me start a movement to change the
underprivileged clean communities to nasty privileged
communities? We need to do our best to keep our communities
nasty. Signed by, Mrs. Stuphnous Robertsonian,
a Royal canine descendant.
Dear Mrs. Robertsonian,
I appreciate your response. It was not my intention to make
a blanket statement that all dogs live in privileged nasty
communities. Some live in far advanced, underprivileged
clean communities. I will certainly do my best to help you
organize a movement to change all communities from clean to
nasty. However, it will call for lots of work. I have a
few recommendations. I will help your form a Clean to Nasty
Committee in your area with about eight fellow intellectual
canines from a cross-section of breeds. Also, the committee
will need to find ways of having nasty Bahamian canines to
penetrate every national committee or board that deals with
the environment by becoming members on those boards. The
committee can also persuade humans to support the Clean to
Nasty Committee and to become members. You can also find
highly intelligent canines, who can be disguised as humans,
to join these committees and boards.
These committee and boards will
include but will not be limited to, the Ministry of Health,
Ministry of the Environment and Housing, Environmental
Advisory Board, Bahamas Environment Science and Technology
Commission (BEST), Bahamas National Trust, The
Bahamas Public Parks and Public Beaches Authority, Bahamas
Reef Environment Educational Foundation (BREEF) and every
neighborhood beautification committee in the country. Note
that we need to get the government to remove all fines and
penalties for making areas dirty and add fines and penalties
for keeping areas clean and beautiful.
One
goal would be to get the Government of The Bahamas to change
its misguided emphasis from "Keep The Bahamas Clean, Green
and Pristine,” to “Let’s Make The Bahamas Nasty and Dirty
Once More.” It is going to call for determined, creative
action and thinking. Another goal would be to teach all
humans how to leave beaches and parks dirty with food and
trash after picnics and how to leave piles of nasty, healthy
food and trash in front of their homes each night. We will
need to create commercials for television and radio,
newspaper ads and road-side banners, and promote our theme
on all social media platforms. A great idea is to select a
noble, outstanding, respectable royal canine to run for
Parliament in the next general election. Having a
representative in the House of Assembly for the “Let’s Make
The Bahamas Nasty and Dirty Once More” campaign will be
crucial to the success.
Making and keeping The Bahamas nasty and dirty is important
to the future development of canines for generations to
come. We also have to work on our own dogples. I am
referring to those dogs who have adopted the threatening
clean way of living and have abandoned or never be exposed
to real, wholesome nasty living. Therefore Mrs.
Robertsonian,
I am willing to work with you if you are ready for the hard
work ahead. Together, “Let Make The Bahamas Nasty
and Dirty Once More.”
Barrington H. Brennen, MA, NCP, BCCP, a marriage and family
therapist and board certified clinical psychotherapist, USA.
Send your questions or comments to barringtonbrennen@gmail.com
or write to P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas, or
visit www.soencouragement.org
or call 242-327-1980
