- Letís Make Him Straight
- By Barrington H. Brennen, MA, NCP,
BCCP, 2002, Update March 2014
Sir: In one of your recent articles, you talked about loving homosexuals as
persons of infinite worth, while discouraging their homosexual lifestyle.
Shouldnít we try to help them to live as heterosexuals? Shouldnít we try to
make them straight? What should we do?
Interested Reader: I like your question because it speaks right to the heart of
a big problem many Christians have. That is, there are many false assumptions
about Christianity that, believe it or not, can really drive us crazy, and have
actually driven many up the walls of discouragement, despair, depression, and
hopelessness. These false assumptions have also ruined or prevented the
development of warm, loving relationships, and have prevented the transformation
of many lives.
I am pleased with your concern for homosexuals and their
transformation to a heterosexual lifestyle. But YOU cannot change them. It is
the Holy Spirit who changes peoplesí lives. Too many Christians want people to
change unacceptable habits before they can be treat them with respect. Many
homosexuals, because of a hormonal imbalance, have been dealing with their
homosexual desires from childhood and need great support and understanding from
friends and relatives to overcome. I am not suggesting that a hormonal imbalance
is an excuse to support homosexuality. Neither am I suggesting that all
homosexuals began that lifestyle under hormonal influences and not by choice. I
am suggesting that this helps us to better understand homosexuals. Dear friend,
if you want to make a homosexual straight, you better get your own act together
first. I now know that some homosexual find it
impossible to change their orientation. However, they can choose not to have
sexual or romantic relationships.
- A FALSE ASSUMPTION THAT CAN DRIVE YOU CRAZY
- Then, what are these false assumptions of Christianity that
can drive us crazy? In their book "12 Christian Beliefs that Can Drive You
Crazy," clinical psychologists, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend,
express relief from twelve false assumptions about Christianity. One false
assumption that speaks to our concern in this article is "One
day, Iíll be finished with recovery." This false assumption
is taught in many pulpits every weekend in the Bahamas. Well-meaning ministers
of the gospel, in trying to reach out to wounded souls, would say in an
appealing way: "When you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, you will not
longer want to do wrong. You will no longer want to smoke, drink, or be a
homosexual. You will lose your sinful desires."
The truth is that this is not what God promises, although God
can and do perform such miracles. What God promises is that He will and can give
us victory over our evil desires and habits. He does not promise to remove the
reason we want to do evil, He only promises to help us not to do it. And we can
cease from doing it. The removal of the reason for sinning will be eradicated
only after Christ returns to renew the earth. The Apostle Paul talks about this
serious battle of the never-leaving urges in Romans 7:14-25.
"And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the
law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living
in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is in my sinful nature. For I
desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. . . . Now if I do what I
do not want to do, it is not longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that
does it. . . . "
I must hasten to state that Paul is not saying that it is okay
to follow our desires. He is simply explaining the confusion that exists in all
of us. But how does all of this apply to homosexuals? When a person expresses a
desire to change from a homosexual to a heterosexual lifestyle, most Christians
have a list of things he must do to prove his spiritual transformation. The list
might look like this: 1) Start having romantic
friendship with a person of the opposite sex. 2) Stop
talking with a lisp. 3) Stop the effeminate walk.
Get married. 5) Have children
The truth is that these are no proof of spiritual
transformation. These will be proof of eternal glorification in the new earth.
The proof of spiritual transformation on this earth is how God is helping the
former practicing homosexual to live a daily victorious life. He may never walk
the way we want him to walk, get married, or have a desire for another person of
the opposite sex. God did not say that he will automatically recover from the
past lifestyle as a proof of his relationship with Him. God gives the power to
immediately cease the habit and then asks us to trust him each step of the way.
Most Christians believe that if the homosexual still has the desire, then he is
sinning. The desire will take a longer time to diminish. The desires are not
usually the problem. The problem is our accepting and cherishing the evil
When we accept homosexuals for whom they are and support them
in their spiritual journey, then they will find the strength to remain straight.
Depression and suicide are high among homosexuals, especially those who are
seeking change. This false assumption, I believe, is the main culprit for this
- ANOTHER FALSE ASSUMPTION
- Another false assumption about Christianity that can drive
you crazy is: "If Iím spiritual enough, I will
have no pain or sinfulness." Often we hear if a Christian is
really walking with the Lord, he wonít get depressed or want to sin.
Christians who believe this are often bewildered and sometimes become bitter
against God. Once again, the absence of pain or desire to sin is not a reality
in this present world. What is real is that we will sin and have pain, and
because of the grace of God we are empowered to live above the pressure of the
natural tendencies. We can be holy and righteous, but that will not make us
immune from pain or the desire to sin.
Have you ever wondered why God left Daniel in the lionsí
den. The great God could have worked a miracle and immediately removed Daniel
from the lionís den when he was thrown into it. Or God could have killed the
lions instead of sending angels to close their mouths. Daniel stayed all night
in the cool, dark, dusty, rank den. I am certain Daniel was cold, hungry,
afraid, and constantly praying: "God, I know you will keep these lionís
quiet all night." The great thing about this story is that God remained in
the lionís den with Daniel. Friend, God did not promise that because we are
Christians we will not be thrown in a lionsí den. He just promises us to stay
with us and comfort us.
- WHAT TO DO?
- Dear friend, I suppose you want to get rid of all the
homosexuals and lesbians in this country. The secret is that this is only
remotely possible after you would have accepted them as individuals first. This
is the same principle for persons who are overweight. A 300-lb person loses the
fat faster after he or she has fallen in love with every ounce. The fact
remains there will always be people in our society we cannot totally agree
with. While the government must pass laws to preserve dignity of living and
public decent behavior, there is no law that can be written to transform lives
and to prevent people from thinking or planning to do wrong. It is our duty as
Christians to learn how to accept unconditionally the indifferent, the weak,
the unlearned, and the troubled. Donít forget that we are all indifferent to
somebody. So letís be more loving and accepting towards each other.
Call 242-327 1980 or write to Barrington H.
Brennen, P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, Bahamas or