Keep Your Hand Off
Stop Touching on the Job
By Barrington H. Brennen, May 9, 2009, updated June 20,
2021
I am still shocked by the number of men and women are so
free to give unsolicited touches to colleagues on the
job. The reports of the number of females who are
victims of sexual harassment is seriously too high.
They outnumber reports of males being sexually harassed
by females. These reports are not only from persons
working at regular businesses—banks, retail stores,
schools, etc.—but also from churches and other religious
institutions.
Why is sexual touching or unsolicited inappropriate
touching so easily carried out by work colleagues,
especially males on the job. The truth is that many
men have been taught to use women to satisfy their
sexual urges. "That’s what they are for," they exclaim.
They were not taught to honor and cherish women in the
fullest sense. Many men do appear to be respectful,
kind, and gentle to their partners but when the urge to
have sex takes over, they act like bulls or dogs in
heat. There are a great number of men and some women,
who have no idea of social or personal boundaries.
Hence, they grope, touch, lean, squeeze, pinch, kiss,
hug, hold, and sit on, when they should not do so. I
like to remind women in particular, that they are not
public leaning posts.
This could explain why there is so much sexual
harassment in the workplace. there are far too many men
often the ones who cannot keep their hands off women.
They lean on them, touch their hips and breasts, put
their arms
around their waists, and even try to kiss them. Let’s
not leave out the women who also try to seduce men on
the job. Sexual misconduct is becoming more and more
prevalent.
Some are just plain ignorant about what constitutes
sexual harassment while many others are just acting
foolishly with persons of the complementary sex in the
workplace. Hence, let me define sexual harassment in a
simple way. Sexual harassment is: Unsolicited physical
contact and advances toward someone. A demand or
request for sexual favors; Sexually colored remarks with
colleagues on the job; Showing pornography; and any
other unwelcomed physical, verbal or non-verbal conduct
of a sexual nature. Interestingly, the victim could be
the person harassed as well as anyone affected by the
offensive conduct. Has your boss ever stopped by and
rubbed your shoulders while he "checked out the work you
were doing?” Or does your co-worker constantly stop by
to flirt with you? A comment like, "Wow, you have sexy
hips" can be sexual harassment
The universal statistics are alarming. Here they are:
31% of the female workers claim to have been harassed at
work. 7% of the male workers claim to have been harassed
at work, 62% of targets took no action. 100% of women
claim the harasser was a man. 59% of men claim the
harasser was a woman. 41% of men claim the harasser was
another man. In The Bahamas more and more persons are
reporting sexual harassment. The statistics are
embarrassing and frightening. It is time that we take a
serious look at a program that educates and trains both
men and women about respectful behavior towards each
another.
People in the workplace can set boundaries to reduce
sexual harassment. Here are some suggestions: Avoid
meeting privately after hours or over lunch; Avoid
sending personal E-mail and fax notes to
co-workers; Avoid lingering glances or touches, even a
good morning hug; Shake hands only; Avoid texting a
co-worker with whom you do not have an intimate
relationship; and avoid fantasies about co-workers.
Barrington Brennen is a marriage and family therapist.
Send you comments or questions to question@coralwave.com,
or call 1-242-327-1980 or visit www.soencouragement.org
