There are at least two sexual practices we do
not talk about but which perhaps constitute the greatest secret sins of our
time. These sexual habits are anal sex and masturbation. There is even another
great secret sexual problem that may well be an outcome of the first two
mentioned. This secret problem is sexual addiction.
We are now learning that there are a surprising number of
Christians who engage in anal sex, active masturbation, and who are sexually
addicted. They bury these daily habits in their external facade of so called
"holy living." They are often very critical and judgmental of others.
One would never know of their dark, secret habits.
- ANAL SEX
- It is not uncommon today to hear of teenagers actively involved in anal
sex. Many participate in anal sex for at least five reasons: 1) They
mistakenly believe they cannot get pregnant. Although you cannot get
pregnant through the anus, the risk of sperms reaching the entrance of the
vaginal entrance is real, thus increasing the possibility of pregnancy. 2)
They foolishly believe they can avoid getting sexually transmitted
diseases. Anal sex provides the greatest risk for contracting sexually
transmitted diseases. 3) Some believe they will still be virgins as long
as there is no vaginal penetration. This is false. Virginity is a total
body and mind experience and lifestyle. 4) Others do it because they are
male homosexuals and feel they must satisfy the sexual drive this way.
Although there are more heterosexuals involved in anal sex than
homosexuals, it is still a risky, common preferred method among
homosexuals. 5) Then there are still others who engage in anal sex because
they do not know better or they are simply amoral and seek to satisfy
their animal passion any way they choose.
There is a greater risk for infection with anal sex than
vaginal sex. The health risks of anal sex are well documented but poorly
publicized. The delicate columnar epithelium of the rectum makes it highly
susceptible to syphilis, gonorrhea, HIV and other viral infections predisposing
to anal cancer. "The penis and the vagina are clean passages, which are
free of disease producing microorganisms. The anus/rectum, on the other hand, is
a highly contaminated passageway. When the penis enters the rectum, the urinary
and reproductive tracks of the man are invaded with the germs from the rectum of
the woman. If the man enters the woman's vagina after having entered her rectum,
her reproductive passageways are then contaminated. Both can incur chronic
infections like prostititus, vaginitis or a pelvic inflammatory condition"
says Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner. Studies have shown that about 50 percent of
married men and 25 percent of married women, 18 to 35, have tried anal
intercourse at least once, says James C. Achtzehn Ph.D., a retired sexuality
professor from Gallaudet University, Washington, D.C. Anal sex is certainly not
a healthy practice for Christians or non-Christians.
Is masturbation all that bad? Well, research tells us that many single
Christian teenagers and young adults are feeding the sexual appetites
through masturbation, thereby increasing their risk of sexual dysfunctions
during marriage. Let met explain the stages or types of masturbation. The
first stage is the discovery stage, which some may not call masturbation.
This stage involves little boys or girls discovering their body parts. The
attitude of parents during this time will determine whether or not this
discovering turns in a habit. The second stage is the pressure release stage
when one is fully aware of body functions and may attain sexual
gratification from masturbation. This is also the stage or type of
masturbation used for therapeutic or medical reason that may be considered
healthy. At this stage it is not a habit. However, this is the risk stage
when the habit is formed. Stage 3 is the exploitive stage. It is definitely
a habit and sexual fantasy is involved. Stage 4 is the compulsive stage when
the individual is compulsively addictive. He/she is trapped with the mental
and physical addictions of masturbation and finds him/herself in a cycle of
repeating a behavior that seems impossible to break.
Masturbation is dangerous because it is addictive. No form of
sexual addiction is healthy. One gentleman told me that it was easier for him to
stop the use of marijuana than to stop masturbating. God never intended for the
sex act to be a solitary experience served through masturbation. God designed
sexual intercourse to be shared between a husband and wife as the highest
expression of intimacy.
Should Christian single men and women use masturbation as a
means of releasing sexual tension to avoid fornication? Certainly not. With the
addictive element and lust thoughts and transitory nature, I cannot recommend
masturbating as a method for an occasional release of sexual tension.
- SEXUAL ADDICTION
- Loneliness is one of the main factors in sexual addiction. " We do
know that at least 81% of sex addicts were sexually abused as children,
74% were physically abused, and 97% were emotionally abused. Most, if not
all were deprived of physical touch, love, nurture, and affirmation."
Dr. Mark Laaser.
There are several reasons people get addicted to sex. First,
some use sex as medication. It can be used as a "mood elevator or
relaxant." If an addict wants to feel a certain way, he then goes to have
sex to achieve it. Second, the brain gets use to it. Brain chemistry adjust to
whatever chemicals we put into it. "These include the chemical produced
when we think about or engage in sex. Over time the brain will need more and
more of the same chemical to produce the same feeling. Sex addicts will need to
think about or be sexual more and more over time."
- LEVELS OF SEXUAL ADDICTION.
- According to Dr. Laaser there are three levels of sexual addiction. The
first level includes the building blocks of fantasy, masturbation,
pornography, prostitution, and affairs. The second level includes
voyeurism, exhibitionism, phone sex, inappropriate touching, bestiality,
and fetishes. The third level includes rape, incest, molesting, and using
authority to gain sexual access. Dr. Patrick Carnes talks about the
narcotic element of sex in his book Sexual Addiction. He
gives the phases of sexual addiction as: preoccupation, always
thinking about sex; realization, serving the habit regularly
through masturbation, sex, etc; compulsion, the losing-control
stage, the must-indulge phases. The last phase is despair or guilt
-- lots of if -- relieved only by re-entering the cycle at the starting
point. This describes what many people experience who engage in habitual
- THERE IS HOPE
- Perhaps the first answer to sexual addiction according to clinical
psychologist Dr. Mark Laaser is finding fellowship. He says that
loneliness is the major emotion that drives sexual addiction. Fellowship
with other Christians is the antidote. One of the major principles is that
fellowship is equal to freedom from lust. Sex addicts must find healing
from the trauma of their pass. They should be encouraged to find
counselors and therapists who can help them to do this.
I would suggest as a method of overcoming the sexual
addiction, one should enter a personal contract of abstinence for thirty days.
If you are married, arrange this with your partner. Take a pen and paper and
write out a contract and sign it. Renew it every thirty days if you are single.
These dangerous sexual secrets are eating away loving
relationships, personal integrity, and our spiritual connection with Christ.
Seek help through prayer and professionals in your area. If you are sexually
addicted or struggling with masturbation there is help.