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The Four Women In My Life
By Barrington H. Brennen, March 6, 2002


Barrington &  Annick Brennen

I am deeply proud and honored to introduce to you the four women in my life. They are special and important in making me feel like a real man. Yes, I do have four of them. They are my Sweetheart, Lover, Girl Friend and Wife. The most exciting thing about these four women is that they all have the same nameĖAnnick. Yes they do! The truth is they are not four different individuals, but one individual joining me in the four aspects of a loving relationship.

In every marriage each partner should be the wife/husband, lover, sweetheart, and friend to their mate. Let me explain.

The girl/boy friend term describes the friendship aspect of a healthy marital relationship. Your spouse should be your best friend. A friend is someone with whom you enjoy doing simple and everyday things. You enjoy being in each otherís presence and feel comfortable sharing ideas and thoughts together. Is your partner your number 1 friend? Whenever other friends take the place of the spouseís friendship, the marriage is on shaky ground.
The Lover aspect describes the intimacy of the marriage. Intimate partners have a deep emotional, spiritual, social, and sexual connection. Intimacy is the sharing of parts of your life that you should only shared with your spouse, whether it is intellectual, spiritual, emotional or sexual. Intimacy involves sharing your joys and your pains, your wants and your likes, your agreements and disagreements.


The Sweetheart aspect of marriage is the romance in the relationship. This involves the tender things spouses do to and with each other every day to show how much they love each other. Spouses need to work hard at keeping the romance spicy in the relationship because it is the one aspect of marriage that than easily fade away and easily destroy it.


The term Wife or Husband describes the long-term companionship of the relationship. This may seem to be an obvious term, but in practice it isnít so. Unfortunately not all wives/husbands are true companions.  This is the contractual, legal, and commitment aspects in the marriage. Companionship involves total commitment to the marriage. It also involves being physically present in the marriage. Too many spouses are living permanently in different islands or countries and yet say that they are committed partners. They may be married but they are certainly not companions. Companionship is the "being there" in a relationship.

How do you measure up? Do you have four men/women in your life? If you are only a husband or wife and not a friend, lover and sweetheart, your marriage is in trouble. You cannot become a lover, sweetheart and friend by simply talking about it. You have to do something about it. Maybe you need to simply change your attitude first. Then you need to start treating your spouse as nicely as you treat your own body. What a difference that will make! Yes I do have four women in my life: wife, lover, sweetheart, and girlfriend. The other women in my life--my daughter, mother, and sisters--are my "extra marital affairs." They remind me of the importance of family and friends






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April 26, 2000, TAGnet/NetAserve / Network Solutions

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