Makes No Demands
- By Barrington Brennen
- 2000 & July 2006
Are you passionately in love with your spouse? Whenever one
has a passion for something, one would do anything to obtain or maintain it. If
you have a passion for mangoes, you will drive miles to purchase some. If you
have a passion for leather shoes, you will spare no end to purchase a pair,
perhaps even to the point of not having other needed clothing. All because you
have an insatiable passion for leather shoes. It is the same way with
relationships. To have a passion for your lover is to unselfishly, unreservedly,
unquestioningly, and unconditionally love and serve him/her. Do you realize that
some people have more passion for leather shoes than they do for their own
relationships. How do we know that? We know it by the way spouses treat each
other. One of the more common ways in which so-called lovers show that they are
not passionately in love with each other is by the way they demand to be loved.
One of the dearest persons in the world who passionately loves
her husband wrote a poem recently that speaks directly to this point. The poet's
McKinney, of Eastern Estates, Nassau, Bahamas, and the poem is
Love For You." Read it intently.
- My Love For You
- My love for you makes no demands.
- I truly ask
- No sweeter task
- Than offering my heart in out-stretched
- Unselfishly I give my all
- To you, my dear,
- I really care.
- My love is deep, yet fills the fall.
- It is so wide and so profound
- Still reaches high
- Up to the sky,
- And with no fetters can be bound.
- My love for you- so strong and true-
- I give it now,
- With humble bow;
- I proffer now my heart to you.
Note carefully the first sentence of the
poem . It states "My love for you makes no demands," True love does
not coerce, force, or require love. True love facilitates love. True love
facilitates change, healing, and growth, but it does not demand it. If a husband
passionately loves his wife, he will not require her to wash the dishes, clean
the house, or stay at home to take care of the children. If a wife passionately
loves her husband, she will not require that he clean the car, cook the food, or
work over time. Spouses in a passionately loving relationship will do these
things without a prompt, because they want to serve each other. It is always out
of personal volition. I like how Ruth McKinney states in her poem: "I truly
ask no sweeter task than offering my heart in out-stretched hands. " In
other words, the only "demands" is what the lover places on him or her
self to love the spouse unreservedly. Note carefully how another author
- Love is
- Slow to suspect - quick to trust.
- Slow to condemn - quick to justify.
- Slow to offend - quick to defend.
- Slow to expose - quick to shield.
- Slow to expose- quick to shield.
- Slow to reprimand - quick to
- Slow to belittle - quick to
- Slow to demand - quick to give.
- Slow to hinder - quick to help
- Slow to hinder - quick to help.
- Slow to resent - quick to forgive.
- Slow to provoke - quick to
Do you love your spouse passionately
today? If you are demanding that your spouse act a certain way, do certain
things for you, or love you in return, then stop demanding and just love
unconditionally. You will be amazed how you will want to do anything yourself to
please and love your spouse.
On the other hand, you will be elated by
the way your spouse responds to your unquestioning love and passion. When
lovers, parents, teachers, church leaders, community leaders, understand the
principle of love demands nothing, then we will have a better nation. Remember,
love begets love. It does not demands it. Thatís why in a Christian marriage
the concept of submission is moot.