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Kiss me, Kiss me, Kiss me

Question: I love to kiss and I usually date a lot. When I go out with someone new find myself wanting to kiss as quickly as I can before the first-date-novelty runs out. Iím beginning to feel uneasy about this. What should I do? Signed, kiss, kiss.

Answer: Dear Kiss Kiss, I love to kiss too, I mean really kiss. God has given you a wonderful talent, not everybody loves to kiss. But for right now you need to turn on the red light, you are kissing the wrong "person." STOP. STOP. STOP.

You are feeling uneasy because you have destroyed the true meaning of kissing. Kissing romantically is not intended to be used to open doors ( it really doesnít), or test feelings. It is to be used to confirm what has already been proven to exist in both hearts. It is evident you havenítí proven anything yet. There are too many young people who plan "kissing dates," thinking that kissing is a natural part of a dating relationship; that is a big mistake. If you continue kissing on your first dates, you will find yourself in serious trouble sooner or later. Deep romantic kissing on the first, second, third, fourth or fifth date is a way to start hormones flowing. When hormones begin to flow before minds begins to speak, it is like trying to squeeze juice out of an orange without cutting it. If you want until after the relationship has reached a mind-bonding stage, when you both want to share lives together in the future, kissing then would mean: "Yes, I have chosen you as my mate-to-be, I trust you enough, know you well enough, and care enough about your to the point where I can share a small bit of my physical self knowing that you will not take advantage of my vulnerability. This perhaps have you wondering at what stage in the relationship should romantic kissing begin? Here are 10 steps towards romantic kissing, which I suggest should take alt least three month to one year to cover:

  1. Talk, talk
  2. Talk, talk
  3. Play, play
  4. Play, play
  5. Hold hands
  6. Bond minds
  7. Link shoulders
  8. Hold heads
  9. Kiss
  10. STOP

Step 1-4 are the most important time of any relationship. This is the friendship period. You need time to become friends Play and talk together. Remember, time is your best friend. This is not time for kissing because it will stifle growth in the relationship. Steps 5-8 is the romantic phase. It is during this time when those sacred words, "I love you," will be solemnly expressed. The time when you like being around each other and look forward to seeing each other on a regular basis. You have blended your thoughts and ideas, and have definite plans for the relationships. Steps 9-10 is the kissing stage. The relationship has matured enough to share yourself in this fashion. But you need to restrain yourself realizing your own limitations and weaknesses. Romantic kissing before marriage is risky business is prescribed in large doses. It is one sure way of opening the floodgates of passion which can lead you to the painful point of no return. Restraint and control are the key words here. (Note 2 Corinthians 5:14)

Remember, before you form a romantic relationship you must first find yourself, understand your own chemistry and develop a bond with Jesus. Kissing is sacred. If you do not have sound Biblical principles to govern your life, you may be fulfilling the test found in Matthew 5:28. Go and look it upright now.

Readers are encouraged to send their questions to Letís Talk About It, P.O. Box N896, Nassau, Bahamas, and are encouraged to use a pseudonym, if desired. Send your questions on marriage and family, pre-marriage preparation, pre-marital sex, extra marital affairs, domestic violence, date rape, and moral and social development.


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April 26, 2000, TAGnet/NetAserve / Network Solutions

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