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Intimate Partner Violence Quiz
By Barrington H. Brennen, May 1, 2005, November 2018



In a previous article, I presented a short violence quiz  to help parents discover if  they are being violent in to their children. In this article, I will present an Intimate Partner Violence Quiz to help you discern whether you are a victim or perpetrator of violence in intimate relationships. This quiz is not intended to replace professional assessment or treatment. It is designed to help you think and to begin making changes in your life. Too many intimate partners are unhappy because their self-esteem and pride have been broken by the systematic violence in their relationships.


Intimate partner violence, also referred to as intimate partner abuse, can be physical (hitting, shoving, etc) or non-physical (verbal put downs, intimidation, etc). Either kind of violence is as damaging to the emotional and physical well-being of the individual. Below are just a few questions to help you to think about your life.

Are You Being Abused? Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Are you frightened by your partnerís temper?

  2. Are you afraid to disagree?

  3. Are you constantly apologizing for your partnerís behavior, especially when he/she may have treated you badly?

  4. Have you ever been hit, kicked, shoved, or had things thrown at you?

  5. Have you ever been forced into having sex when you didnít want to?

  6. Does your partner push and shove you around violently?

  7. Are you afraid to break up because your partner has threatened to hurt you, himself or herself?

  8. Does your partner hurt you while having sex?

  9. Do you refrain from seeing friends or family because of your partnerís jealousy?

  10. Does your partner put you down with shaming words?

  11. Does your partner demand you to do things for him or her?

  12. Does your partner prevent you from having friends?

  13. Does your partner demand that you stay at home?

  14. Does your partner scream and shout at you?

  15. Does your partner treat you like a dunce?

  16. Does your partner get angry if you disagree with him or her?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you may be a victim of intimate partner violence. For further assessment and treatment, contact a professional today.


Are You Being Abusive? Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Do you scream and shout at your partner?

  2. Do you say mean things to your partner?

  3. Do little arguments usually escalate into fights with accusations, criticisms, name calling, or bringing up the past.

  4. Do you constantly check up on your partner and accuse him or her of being with other people?

  5. Have you forced your partner to have sex with you or intimated her so she is afraid to say no?

  6. Have you threatened to hurt your partner?

  7. Have you threatened to hurt yourself if your partner breaks up with you or leave?

  8. Do you make fun of your partnerís ability to do things?

  9. Do you get very upset if your partnerís work is not done when you think it should be?

  10. Do you insult you partner in the presence of others?

  11. Do you tell your partner he/she is dumb or stupid?

  12. Do you become violent when you drink or use drugs?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you may be a violent intimate partner. For further assessment and treatment, contact a professional today.

Our country would be safe if people were safe in their own homes. Most of the violence exhibited outside the home started within the home. Too many partners are physically or emotionally trapped in their own houses by controlling, jealous, rigid partners who find overt or covert ways to intimidate or manipulate them. No angry, belligerent, vitriolic teenager or adult accidentally developed into a violent individual. Children who witnessed violence usually become violent themselves or victims of violence. If we truly want a safer country, we must first make our homes safe. Our homes should be a sweet refuge where children and adults are treated in a spirit of love, compassion, and understanding.

If while reading the questions above, you admitted to yourself that you are a violent person, then it is imperative that you seek professional help. If you know someone who is violent, do not hesitate to call a professional to direct you in what to do. Call the nearest counseling or psychological service nearest you.


Letís keep our neighborhood and country safe.

Barrington H. Brennen is a marriage and family therapist and a nationally certified psychologist. Send your questions or comments to P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas; or call 242-327 1980, or email barringtonbrennen@gmail.com  or visit www.soencouragement.org  




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