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Infidelity, Game or Sin?
By Barrington H. Brennen, July 18, 2004, 2021


Why do spouses have affairs?  How could spouses live with the knowledge that their partner’s are having affairs?   Further more, how could spouses continue to be sexually intimate with unfaithful partners, putting their lives at risks, both emotionally and physically?   Several years ago a devoted wife told me that she was “happily married” to her husband for twenty years, even though, along with their six children, he has had five more children with other women.  It was as though she allowed her unwavering devotion for her marriage to blur objective thinking and a healthy decision-making process. Today, most of the eleven children are unhappy, confused, and are living their own lives on promiscuity.  The brings truth to the saying “what you reap is what you sow.”

Many unfaithful, promiscuous individuals behave as though sexual passion is mesmerizing and hypnotic.  That’s the only way I we can explain the habitual, risk-taking, sexually fantasizing escapades people choose to be a part of.  Not only is sex mesmerizing and hypnotic to many, it is also very addictive, at least to emotionally starved individuals.    As a Christians, it seems more clearer to me why Jesus said in Matthew 22:30: “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.”   Could it be that Jesus knew that sex would eventually lose its real meaning and purpose?   Sex is no longer sacred to most of us.   To many, it is no longer a solemn, worshipful act of deep intimate pleasure between a man and women in a holy matrimony. It’s all a game.  It is all just plan fun, they say.  However, certainly not innocent fun.  For history tells us that sexual unfaithfulness always reap painful, and sometimes deadly results. 

I believe God designed it that discipline and total self-government is the road (with God’s power) to full spiritual, intellectual, and emotional growth. This is a part of character development.   Hence, God did not dull the passion, nor did He numb the sexual drive.  This was a great risk he took.  We must be reminded ourselves that there is a battle for the human man.  It is the human mind where were the greatest war is taking place.  We call it the battle between Christ and Satan.  Satan understands the intricate mechanism of the human mind.  He knows that the very apparent weakness of humans is God’s great ally—freedom of choice.  Satan knows that if we fully choose God’s way, there will be a power he cannot penetrate.  His goal then, is to find our “weak spot.”  Unfortunately, the most beautiful expression of God’s love between a husband and a wife has become Satan’s most powerful resource center for corruption--our weak spot—sex.

As a psychologist, I have no answer to this dilemma.  As a minister of the gospel, I know that there is only one answer: it’s evil.  We have all become mesmerized by evil, and it seems as if Satan is winning the battle.  Pastor, teachers, politicians, parents, community leaders, have all been caught in Satan’s trap of self-gratification.  The truth is Satan knows that’s it no game.  It’s a serious battle, a deadly war.  He is trying his best to keep us drowned in the lukewarm waters of passion and lust.  Self-gratification, greed, lust, unabated passion, these are Satan’s passwords.   Dear reader, to end this deadly game our passwords must be self-discipline, service, respect, honor, and greater still, JESUS. 

Send your questions or comments to  question@soencouragement.org  Tel: 242-327-1980





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