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When Parents Nurture, Children Blossom Part 2

Barrington H. Brennen, 2003

Part 1   Part 2


When did you last hear the happy voices of children playing? How did it make you feel? Joyful or disgusted. When last did you feel the soft, cuddly hands of a new born infant? Did you feel overwhelm with joy or were you jealous and angry? Do you realize that many of our little darlings are not being raised in homes where they are totally accepted? Unfortunately, too many parents treat their children as if they had gotten in the way of their lives. At best they tolerate them. At worst they are unreasonably punished, physically and emotionally abused and maimed. Please donít turn your head and think that not many parents of guilty of these atrocities. The truth is that far too many Bahamian and West Indian families are guilty of all sorts of illegal and morally degrading acts against their children . Research by Life Innovations, who surveyed more than one million couples in most major countries indicates that about 83 percent of married couples state that their marriage relationships are seriously affected when they start having children. In other words, when children come out of the womb, love goes to sleep in the garage.

So then, how can a parent nurture a child when she thinks of a child as someone interfering with her personal life? One of the best forms of nurture for a new born baby is breast feeding. Many Bahamian women do not breast feed because they feel "they have better things to do." What better thing to do than to place your new born at your breast providing for your child the most powerful natural "antibiotic" and bodybuilding formula that cannot be matched by any human-made product. Mothers who refuse to breast feed (more than 95% of all women can breast feed) are doing their child an injustice and refusing to provide the most primary form of nurture and care known to the human race. Babies who are breast feed truly blossom. They are more contented. They smell sweeter. They have fewer stomach grips. And research says that when they grow up they are less prone to be delinquent and rebellious.
Dads cannot breast feed. But dads have strong arms. They can hold their little ones for hours. Along with breast feeding as a primary form of nurture, so is holding your infant in your arms close to you and cuddling it for as long as you can. A woman cannot breast feed for hours and a time. But a father can hold his son literally for hours with no side effects. I have observed that too many Bahamian children have not been held sufficiently by their parents. They are actually love hungry. Unfortunately, the only time many little ones are touched is when they are being punished. I once asked parents as a seminar to think when they last told their child that they loved them. The majority of parents present indicated that they have never said "I love you" to their children. Many said that whenever they have to punish their children they would tell them "I am only doing this because I love you." For many parent "I Love you" can only be stated when they have to punish their children. This is not nurture. This is abuse and a false concept of the meaning of love.

Do you know what is one of the most beautiful pictures of nurturing? It is a Bahamian father holding his young son in his arms, close to his chest, looking in his face, and singing lullabies. It is a Bahamian dad who cannot wait to leave work to get home and hold and play with his new born infant or just-learning-to-walk toddler. Too many Bahamian fathers when they leave work, go to play with the "boys" under the trees or in the bars, instead of going home.

Instead of loving our children we exploit them. Instead of nurturing, we neglect. Instead of hugging, we hit. Instead of saying "I love you" we curse. Instead of apologizing for hurting them, we aggravate them to anger.

Part 1


Barrington H. Brennen is a marriage and family therapist.  Send you comments to question@soencouragement.org or call 1-242-327-1980  or visit www.soencouragement.org



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April 26, 2000, TAGnet/NetAserve / Network Solutions

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