Resistance Is Good
for You and Your Relationship
Barrington H. Brennen, May
19, 2015, 2021
PDF Format
Have you ever heard about
resistance training? “Resistance training is simply a
program of exercise, which uses one or more types of
training system. Methods include exercises using body
weight, such as sit-ups, press-ups and dips. Free weights
and machines may also feature in resistance work.” It
includes lifting weight and lifting your body. It also
includes any force or pressure against the body that you
must resist.
It’s important to note that
resistance training develops endurance. This is unlike
power lifting which is designed for building muscles.
Resistance training is great for the body. “Resistance” is
also great for emotional development. Those who read the
Holy Scriptures would know that James 4:7 says, “Submit
yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will
flee from you.” In the Bible, the Greek for resistance is
“anthistemi” which means “to set one’s self against, to
withstand, resist, oppose.”
It is imperative to understand
that if there was no resistance, we would not fully
develop. Our minds would be stagnant. Our relationships
would be dormant. Our businesses would be sleeping. There
would be little creativity and spontaneity. We often think
that the wind at our backs is what really propels us
forward. In reality, it is the wind in front of us—that
force that’s trying to prevent us from going forward, that
builds our stamina to really move forward. Without
opposition there is no growth.
PHYSICAL BENEFITS OF
RESISTANCE
Several years ago, I came
across a research that stated, “Resistance training is also
effective at increasing bone density, and in fact, may be
more effective than aerobic training.” The research also
indicated that “Resistance training offers several
cardiovascular benefits. It can improve heart disease risk
factors, it is helpful in cardiac rehabilitation after a
heart attack, and it can improve heart failure.”
Here is more exciting news,
especially for the elderly. “A small study out of the Tufts
University Human Nutrition Research Center looked at
resistance training in 16 older women with congestive heart
failure. These women developed greater muscle strength and
increased their walking distance in 6 minutes by 50 meters,
but measures of heart function were unchanged. USDA Human
Nutrition Research Center on Aging at Tufts University in
Boston enrolled ten frail, 90+-year- old nursing home
residents in an eight-week high- intensity resistance
training program. Nine of them finished the program, and
those nine experienced an average gain in strength of 174%.
Their thigh muscles increased in size by 9%, and their
walking speed increased by 48%, leading the researchers to
suggest that even the very oldest among us may benefit
significantly from resistance training.” Wow! That’s
wonderful. I have hope in my old age.
Here are some important facts
about muscle memory and resistance: “Scientists have
discovered that there are a large number of internal brain
structures which work together with the input and output
brain structures to form fleeting images in the mind. Using
these images, we learn to interpret input signals, process
them, and formulate output responses in a deliberate,
conscious way. . . After a while, the "seeing-
thinking-doing" gradually becomes "seeing-doing" because
your muscles seem to "know" and "remember" just what to do.
What you're learning now is speed, i.e. how to perform the
task carefully and quickly. That's muscle memory. Keep this
point in mind when it comes to emotional muscle memory.
RESISTANCE TRAINING FOR THE SOUL
Physical resistance is great
for the body. As I alluded earlier, emotional and
psychological resistance has great benefits for the soul.
This kind of resistance is done by facing challenges and not
avoiding them. It is looking straight in to the face of
discouragement and obstacles and using them as gateways to
opportunities and not shut doors of disappointments and
despair. We also know that no good marriage is free from
pain, stupidity, discouragement, miscommunication,
distortions, etc. These are to be used to enhance growth
not to stagnate it.
Let me first share about
spiritual resistance. Writer Susan Brinkmann shares this
about temptation. “Temptations are the “weights” in our
spiritual weight room. By employing the proper resistance,
we strengthen our will and become better able to withstand
them. There is one major difference between our spiritual
and physical weight room. In the spiritual gym, it is God’s
grace that gives us the strength to overcome our weaknesses,
not our own efforts.” Notice what she shares about
emotional muscle memory. “The simple explanation is that
our brains memorize passageways from stimulus to response at
nearly unperceivable speeds. What is also obvious is that
once the electro-chemical coding takes place and becomes
entrenched, it is very hard to dislodge.” The more we
resist Satan’s temptations the more we develop spiritual,
emotional, and muscle memory. We have heard the song
“Climbing up the rough side of the mountain.” The truth is
the rough side is better for climbing because the roughness
provides places to put your feet and hands to climb higher.
The smooth side might have no “roughness” and appears to be
easier to maneuver, but when you slip there is nothing to
hold on to.
From an emotional and
spiritual point of view, the smooth side of the mountain
represents a life without challenges, pains, or
difficulties—no resistance. No pain. No gain. If we do
not resist we will not grow. Without resistance, there is no
character development. Without resistance, we die
emotionally and spirituality. It seems to be natural to
pull away from pain in our lives. The most successful
people move toward the pain.
MARRIAGE
The most successful marriages
are not free from pain. Successful couples are those
couples who move toward the pain. Most divorces could have
been avoided if the individuals used the pain for growth and
not for poison. One great tip for couples is when a partner
experiences emotional pain because of the behavior or words
of the other partner, it is imperative to think that the one
causing the pain really did not want to cause the pain. It
was not done intentionally. Say to yourself, “Let me try
to understand why my partner behaved that way or said those
painful words.” That’s resisting. The happiest couples
have learned to move toward the frustration and
disappointments (resistance) and have developed emotional
muscles that help them to successfully navigate the
difficult routs through marriage. This must be done by
both partners in the relationship. When it is only one
partner resisting the pain correctly, this often makes
division inevitable. Save your relationship; resist
together. Get into the gym of marriage and start building
endurance together.
Barrington H. Brennen, MA, NCP BCCP, is a
marriage and family therapist and board certified clinical
psychotherapist, USA. Send your questions or comments to
question@soencouragement.org or write to P.O. Box CB-13019,
Nassau, The Bahamas, or visit www.soencouragement.org or
call 242-327-1980 or 242-477-4002.
