- Releasing the Violence Trap
- By Barrington H. Brennen, December 13,
2006, 2017
 In a
previous article, I suggested that parents are creating a violence trap for
their children to fall into by the way they parent them. They are not
teaching their children how to be critical, independent thinkers capable of
original thought. I purported that when parents do not teach these skills,
their children cannot govern their lives intelligently and independently;
thus, they are easily overcome by negative external forces. They become
trapped with feelings of inadequacy which lead them to frustration and often
violence. My pivotal point is that today’s parents do not have the
educational and philosophical foundation nor the how-to-knowledge to teach
these skills to their children. Their parents left them grossly inept to
train post-modern children.
How
can you transmit to others what you do not know or have? Or how can you
transmit to others what you have been told if you have never been given the
rational and philosophy behind it. How can you intelligently transmit to
others values you were taught if you have not internalized them? To
internalize means to critically examine, synthesize, and accept the
principles, religious or social values taught and integrate them in your own
life without reservation. This can only occur when parents themselves
understand the principle of education–to teach others so they too can teach
others. When this is absent we are raising at-risk children who are
irrational or potentially violent. This is what I call the violence
trap.
- RELEASING THE
TRAP
- Now that we have
so many of our youth trapped in a life of anger and violence, is there
something we can do? Yes we can. It might take a generation or two, but
it is a doable if the church, school, and government create synergies
for change. Here are a few of my suggestions on how we can work
together to release this violence trap.
-
As a nation,
we must first accept that the problem is extremely serious. All
stakeholders including politicians, pastors, educators, and parents
have to accept the fact that if we do not do something now to stop
this state of social illiteracy, we will be selling our country to
the dogs. We will produce more and more angry, frustrated,
irrational human beings who see violence as the way of living
-
We must
understand that releasing the violence trap is an educational
process. This educational process must start first with parents,
then other community and church leaders. The government will need
to implement mandatory parenting training programs for parents whose
children are violent, trouble makers, or continually rebellious.
-
The
educational process should involve the following: (a) Teaching
parenting skills to current and potential parents. For a select
period (perhaps three to five years) all persons getting married or
having children should be required attend a five-hour national
parenting seminar. This seminar should be prepared by a central
body to ensure consistency and continuity of the educational
process. (b) Teaching anger management and conflict resolution
skills to parents, teenagers, church and community leaders. This
should be required for all parents with troublesome children,
violent teenagers, and adults. (c) Requiring parents who are
getting divorced with minor children to attend six hours of
counseling. This will assist in the post divorce adjustment and the
prevention of the parental alienation syndrome that occurs with
custody battles and the negative post-divorce treatment of children.
-
We must
utilize the media to educate the nation. The government can
air national parenting or conflict management seminars on all radio
and television stations and networks at the same time every day for
three to six months. Every radio or TV station one turns to must be
broadcasting the information the same time for about ten to fifteen
minutes. This will certainly captivate everyone’s attention.
Parenting material can be printed in the newspapers and posters and
handouts can be disseminated so that everywhere our society will be
literally saturated with the same message. In addition, the
showing of meaningful instructional videos and movies throughout the
community and in churches can be an effective tool for
transformation.
- IT IS POSSIBLE
-
Dear reader, I
believe that we can reduce the violence in our society. My suggestion
is that this effort must have national scope. Now is the time to be
serious about national building and take a honest look at what is
happening in our society. Remember, the problem of violence will not go
away if we bury our heads in the sand. I truly believe that the crime
level in our country can be reduced at least seventy-five percent. We
can make it happen. Are you ready for the change?
Read the Violence Trap
Barrington H. Brennen is a marriage and family therapist. Send your
questions or comments to P.O. Box N-896, Nassau, The Bahamas, or email at
question@soencouragement.org Or call 242 -323 8772.
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