- Opposite or
- By Barrington H.
Question: Dear Sir: Are men are women
truly opposite or complementary sexes?
Answer: Dear Reader: Your question is
one that has been discussed for centuries. I have written on this subject in
different ways for the past three years. It never fails to raise an interest. If
we are truly opposite sexes, then we could never love one another, agree,
procreate, and perhaps never be truly compatible. The Random House Websterís
College Dictionary defines opposite as "contrary or radically different, as
in nature, qualities, or significance." It also defines complementary as
"either of two parts or things needed to complete the whole;
counterpart." For the purpose of this article, I would then define opposite
as "the inability to agree or relate in any fashion," and
complementary as "born to interact, relate, and empower each other."
Since we have used the term "opposite sex" for so many years,
having it ingrained in our minds and daily vocabulary, it seems impossible for
us to look objectively at its meaning and how it relates to us. Could it be that
we have acted and treated each other as "opposites" for so long that
we have actually become opposites--we cannot agree or relate? Thus, we have the
battle of the sexes.
If I were truly the opposite of my wife, we could not discuss, much less
agree. On the other hand, since we are created with similar brain cells--able to
process and assimilate informationó we can discuss and reach similar
conclusions. If our brains were totally different--that is if I had a brain like
that of a dog, I would not be able to relate intellectually to my spouse. In
fact, I would not be able to understand her at all. Only my "dog
instinct" would help me respond. I would only be able to bark, whine, and
jump in eager expectation. And what would she do to me? She would throw to me a
dog bone, walk away feeling superior to me while I nibbled on my whole-soya dog
crackers. Thatís being opposites. Could it be that as men and women, we have
only been throwing dog crackers at each other?
When we study the creation story, we notice that God created all the animals
on a different day he created Adam and Eve. This suggests that humans are not
equal to animals. Secondly, God spake and all creations came into being,
except Adam and Eve. He personally and physically got involved to create them.
Adam and Eve were fully and equally created in the image of God. That is, they
were created with similar abilities and were given the same responsibilities.
God came and spoke to them before sin. If they were created as opposites, why
didnít God treat them so in the beginning? If they were opposites, God would
have given them different instructions and would have had different
expectations for each one. In Genesis 1:26-27, we have the first example of
Godís idea of male and female being complementary beings. He said "Let
us make humankind in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the
fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the
earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created
human-kind in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and
female He created them." Adam and Eve, having equal and complementary
intelligence and powers from God, would work harmoniously in their new
home. Together they were given the same instructions and empowerment. When
Adam first saw Eve, he was pleased and surprised because what he saw was his
"other self." All the other animals were opposite to Adam. The
animals were unable to communicate with Adam. They could not speak Adamís
language neither could they provide his need for love. Eve complemented him.
She could talk, respond, share, and love him. Eve was his alter-ego.
GENDERS COMPLEMENT. THEY DO NOT OPPOSE.
One reason why many suggest that men and women are opposites is simply
because we have different sex organs. If we examine these organs closely, we
will agree that if they did not complement each other we simply could not have
sex with each other and produce offsprings. Have you every tried to fit a
square peg into a round hole? You cannot. Why? Because they are opposites.
Have you every heard of man having sex with a cat to produce a son?
It was Godís intentions that male and female live harmoniously on this
earth. That their talents, gifts, and strength be joined to produce a mutual
power for growth and development. I am suggesting that this harmony can only
occur between two complementary beings, not opposites. It is correct, then, to
deduce that opposites cannot live in harmony. If a wife and husband are
experiencing continual conflicts, fights, ongoing outbursts of anger,
belittlements, putdowns, etc., then it might be because they are treating each
other as opposites and not as complements. Dear reader, try to think about
your spouse as your complement and not your opposite in marriage. I am certain
it will revolutionize your marriage.
- CREATION STORY
Barrington H. Brennen, MA, NCP, BCCP, a marriage and family
therapist and board certified clinical psychotherapist,
USA. Send your questions or comments to
firstname.lastname@example.org or write to P.O. Box
CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas, or visit
www.soencouragement.org or call 242-327-1980.