Dress Is Not a Reason to Rape
(We
must change our concept of women and sex)
By Barrington H. Brennen, January 11, 2017
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Format
Perhaps I cannot exhaust the topic of sex and dress in this
column. No matter what I write, some people will always
hold on to the opinion that dress “causes” men to rape
women. In my recent article, I stressed that dress has
nothing to do with it. It is about power and control, anger
or a degrading view of women.
I am not saying that sexually revealing clothing is okay or
that it does not arouse on-lookers. Arousal is one thing,
but personal discipline, common sense, and self-control must
rule the mind. If a woman dresses on a night out at the
club in such a way that she wants a man to seduce her or she
will seduce him, that is a far cry from rape.
I do wish that our women would dress more appropriately in
public. I have seen so many women in public that look as
though they should not have left their bedrooms. Sometimes
you can tell if they are wearing thongs, no bras, or where
all their curves are. Does dress reveal who you are or your
intention? Can dress impact how you feel or perform on the
job? Yes. For many years social scientists have studied
the impact of dress on behavior. The results are
stunning. However, note that no research empirically states
that dress “causes” rape.
In this 2014 article “Dress, body and self: research in the
social psychology of dress” the authors share a research
that leads one to think. It exposes the scientific
information how dress does impact behavior. “In the 1980s,
researchers were interested in women’s provocative
(revealing, sexy) dress and the extent to which men and
women attributed the same meaning to it. For example, both
Edmonds and Cahoon (1986) and Cahoon and Edmonds (1987)
found ratings of women who wore provocative dress were more
negative than ratings of women who wore non-provocative
dress. No specific theory was identified by these authors as
guiding their research. Overall, when wearing provocative
dress, a model was rated more sexually appealing, more
attractive, less faithful in marriage, more likely to engage
in sexual teasing, more likely to use sex for personal gain,
more likely to be sexually experienced, and more likely to
be raped than when wearing conservative dress.”
The research also indicates the sexually appealing dress
usually decreases the respect granted to the women.
However, there is no research that states that dress “causes”
rape although it can influence arousal. I stress that it is
about personal accountability. We must not lower our men to
the concept that they are male dogs on heat looking for
female dogs likewise on heat.
I do appeal to women to dress less revealing or modestly in
public not to prevent rape, but to eliminate the universal
objectification of women. Women are not property or sexual
objects. Sexually dressed women are used to sell cars,
batteries, food, tools, open bank accounts. Women, you are
more valuable than that.
Before I end this article, I must address briefly
misconception and misuse of the Bible passage found in 1
Corinthians 7:4: The wife gives authority over her body to
her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body
to his wife. (NIV). This text is used to defend a man’s
view of forced sex. Here are some of statements made by men
|
"The research also indicates the sexually appealing dress
usually decreases the respect granted to the women.
However, there is no research that states that dress “causes”
rape although it can influence arousal.
I stress that it is about personal
accountability."
|
|
who think that married men cannot rape their wives “The
Bible says my wife’s body belongs to me so she must never
refuse me;” and “a husband cannot rape himself.” These
statements are based on a false concept of the value of
women and a misinterpretation of scripture.
In 2001 I wrote the following on the topic. “When a husband
says in his defense against the proposed marital rape law
that “the Bible says my wife’s body belongs to me, so she
must never refuse me” he is giving a number of negative
messages. First, that his wife has no control over her body
and that she is the property of her husband. Second, the sex
drive is the dictator to one’s behavior and not reason.
Third, that his opinions and feelings are always more
important than those of his wife’s.” Note that the text was
written to respond to the negative views of women. During
the time of the writing of the text, women had no value and
were only sexual property of men. Paul was seeking to
elevate the status of women within a specific context, which
was never to be taken as an ideal. Although Paul states
that the wife’s body “belongs” to the husband, the men did
not expect him to say that the husband’s body belongs to the
wife.” That was a new concept to them.
When a wife says, “my husband can take it whenever he
wants,” suggests that she has been indoctrinated and duped
by the teaching that she is only a piece of sexual property.
And also, she has not been painfully raped by her husband.
When a husband in his defense against the proposed marital
rape law says a husband cannot rape his wife, he is
misunderstanding the meaning of oneness in marriage. He is
suggesting that the “one flesh” in marriage takes away the
identity of a woman. He forgets that there could only be a
marriage when there are two distinct individuals. He forgets
that a loving marriage can only exist when the two
individuals remain distinct and unique. That’s the only way
there can be reciprocal love. If the wife becomes
non-existent after the marriage vows then the relationship
becomes akin to that of a slave and a master.”
Men, we must change our concept of women and sex. If we are
defending the view that “women’s dress causes rape” and on
top of that, “our wives must never refuse us sexually” we
are having a disparaging view of ourselves. Let us respect
ourselves and our women.
Barrington H. Brennen, MA, NCP, BCCP, a marriage and family
therapist and board certified clinical psychotherapist, USA.
Send your questions or comments to barringtonbrennen@gmail.com
or write to P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas, or visit
www.soencouragement.org or call 242-327-1980
