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Bone of My Bone

"Bonded Forever, Parting, Not Ever"

By Barrington H. Brennen

Key Presenter

 

Sabbath, November 22, 2008, Noel Frazer Auditorium

West Jamaica Conference of Seventh-day Adventists

Montego Bay, Jamaica

 

Barrington Brennen's Slide Presentations for Sabbath Morning & Afternoon

"Bonded Forever, Parting, Not Ever . . .

Understanding God's Intention & Four Women in My Life"

Click HERE to download slide presentation to view only (187 Slides)

 Brennen Slide Presentation     Bonding Solutions Handout     Photos    Theme Song     Contact

 

Pastor Robert Vassell, Family Ministries Director of the West Jamaica Conference of Seventh-day Adventists

Pastor Robert Vassell, Family Ministries Director of the West Jamaica Conference in 2008, was the organizer for the "Bone of My Bone" annual marriage summit held November 22, 2008 at West Jamaica Conference Center, Montego Bay, Jamaica.

This year was outstanding.  The enthusiasm was high.  Responding to the theme "Bonded Forever, Parting, Not Ever," hundreds of couples, young and old, came from all over West Jamaica Conference.  It is estimated that there were at least 850 couples, 200 spouses of partners who could not attend, a few widows, widowers, and divorces (approximately 2000 individuals).  Of course, there were a few never married singles who came to get insight and encouragement.

The Sabbath morning meeting began at 9:30 with a packed hall.  It started with a "Family Worship Sabbath School led by Trevor Reid. Then at 11:00 the main service begin when Barrington H. Brennen, Family Ministries Director of The Bahamas Conference of Seventh-day Adventists, gave the presentation "Bonded Forever  . . . Understanding God's Intention."  He began the presentation exposing the meaning of being bonded in marriage.   He explained that the word "bonded" is similar to the word "one flesh" found first in Genesis 2:4 and in Mark 10:8.    In defining "one flesh" he used eight

 

"Bone of My Bone" Theme Song

We Are A Family

Listen

 

We are a family, hearts bowed before thee

Fill us with love for the world to see

In Jesus we're one, in Jesus we overcome

In Jesus we are a family. (repeat)

 

Show me how to love my brother

Show me how to love my sister

May we as a family be one

Show me how to love more patiently

Show me how to love as you love me

May we as a family be one,

Be one . . .

 

We are a family, hearts bowed before thee

Fill is with love for the world to see

In Jesus we're one, in Jesus we overcome

In Jesus we are a family.

 

(Bridge)

Love is the key to unity

Lord pour out your love, may it fall on me

 

We are a family, hearts bowed before thee

Fill is with love for the world to see

In Jesus we're one, in Jesus we overcome

In Jesus we are a family. (Repeat)

 

In Jesus we are (repeat)

In Jesus we are a family

 

Accompaniment

 

 terms to demonstrated the different shades or kinds of "one flesh" in marriage: oneness, togetherness, one-anotherness, companionship,  partnership, mutuality, harmony and equality.  He encouraged the couples to truly become one through Christ.

Then Barrington Brennen shared with the many couples the "Four Roadblocks to Bondedness."  They were:  (1) A misconception of equality: When the emphasis is on someone being in charge. When abuse lurks the dark corners of the house. When submission is greatly misunderstood.    (2) A misunderstanding of fidelity: When total sexual purity does not extend beyond courtship.  When pornography is used to stimulate and entice.    (3) Not enough time for romance and intimacy: When friendship with the boys/girls and church takes priority. When intimacy is understood as having sex (4) Instead of listening to God we want Him to listen to us. When tradition does not make sense. When the Bible is misused and abused for personal gain.  

The couples listened eagerly as Barrington Brennen expounded the secrets of a hot and spicy marriage.  With the use of slides, humor, Biblical texts, illustrations, and music, he kept the attention of the audience for more than one-and-a-half hours.

After the morning service, which ended at 1:35 p.m., it was lunch time.  Many of the couples who traveled long distances brought their lunches.  It was beautiful to see the hundred of couples scattered all over the beautiful green lawns and under the giant cool trees on the grounds of West Jamaica Conference, fellowshipping and eating their meals.  It was really a Sabbath bonding time.

The afternoon meeting began at 3:30 p.m. when Dr. Arthorine Walker, a Jamaican counselor and educator residing in the United States, spoke on "The Need for Healing."  Her presentation certainly reached the hearts of hundreds who returned to receive more blessings.   Hearts were warmed and many who needed it, started on the road to healing.  The attention to words of Dr. Walker could be seen through the couples physical closeness and the clutching of hands as they sat together and listened.  It was a special moment during "Bone of My Bone"

The day ended with the final presentation by Barrington Brennen:  "The Four Women In My Life" and a recommitment ceremony led by Pastor Vassel.   Barrington talked about the "four women," meaning what he describes as the four components of marriage: spouse, lover, sweetheart, and friend.   He made it clear that many couples are great spouses, but not many are great lovers, sweethearts or friends. 

He explained that "spouse" is the moral, legal, contractual agreement in marriage and the long-term commitment to each other.  Many couples in the Caribbean do well in this area.

The word "lover" is the intimacy in marriage (intellectual, spiritual, emotional and physical).   This is a weak area in many relationship, said Barrington.  Many are physically intimate, meaning they have sex, but they do not sit together in church, hold hands in public, kiss passionately, cuddle or huggle (a new word coined by Barrington Brennen to describe to the intense joining of cuddling and hugging) a lot.

The word "sweetheart" is the romance in the relationship.  Things couples do to show how much they love each other each day, week, and year (this does not include sex).  He suggested that not many couples are good "sweethearts."   They do not spend enough time together sharing and romancing.

The word "friend" describes the friendship in the relationship.  Each one is to be each other's best friend.  He explained that in marriage we can be each other's "girlfriend" and "boyfriend"  Friends enjoy doing simple things together.  They enjoy spending time together without sex on the agenda.  He suggests that a couples should have at least one activity that they enjoy doing together.  Barrington Brennen also implied that not many couples are truly friends and encourage the couples to become best friends 

To conclude the grand day, Pastor Robert conducted a commitment ceremony.  While the couples were singing the theme song "We Are a Family,"  they came forward to the front, stood, and embraced each other, looking in to each other eyes.  They repeated the pledge "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh."  The service ended with a special dedicatory pray by Barrington Brennen.

Robert and Judith Vassell

 

 

 

 

The Photos

Hundreds of couples, young and old, listen to the presentations

Radiant couples

Barrington Brennen making his presentation

Dr. Arthorine Walker sharing on the subject of healing in relationships

Alvia Brown singing before the presentation by Barrington Brennen

 

A couple demonstrate how to go "knee to knee"

The couples sing together during the commitment ceremony

Pastor Robert Vassell conducts the commitment ceremony

Trevor Reid conducting the Sabbath School Lesson

The couples listen to the discussion during Sabbath School

   
   

 

 

 

 
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Permission is granted to print these pages and to make the necessary copies for your  personal use, friends,  seminar, or meeting handout.  You must not sell for personal gain, only to cover the cost to make copies if necessary.    Written permission (email) is needed to publish or reprint articles and materials in any other form. Or you call at 242-327 1980.  Copyright 1999 Sounds of Encouragement. All rights reserved.   Articles written by Barrington H. Brennen, Counseling Psychologist, Marriage & Family Therapist.  P.O. Box CB-13019,  Nassau, The Bahamas.    This Web page last modified: May 28, 2013 .       question@soencouragement.org