Being a Married Female
is a Pre-existing Condition
By Barrington H. Brennen,
January 31, 2018
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Insurance
companies in many countries would not give a potential
client health coverage if he or she has a serious medical
condition existing before application. They call it a
pre-existing condition. It is a painful reality that makes
no sense. An example of a pre-existing condition can be
having cancer. Similarly, being a married female in The
Bahamas is also a pre-existing condition-cancer- that
prevents her from being protected by the law from rape like
single women and girls are protected. The pre-existing
condition of being a married female also removes other
sociological privileges she enjoyed as a single woman.
Girls and
single adult females, even if the adult females are in a
romantic relationship, have more protection under the law
than married women. A single woman can charge her “lover”
or intimate acquaintance with whom she shares her emotions,
with a sexual offence–rape. The Sexual Offenses Act in
Article 1 under “Definition” states that: “Rape is the act
of any person not under fourteen years of age having sexual
intercourse with another person who is not his spouse
—(a) without the consent of that other person; (b) without
consent which has been extorted by threats or fear of bodily
harm; (c) with consent obtained by personating the spouse of
that other person; or with consent obtained by false and
fraudulent representations as to the nature and quality of
the act.”
Note that
the Article the Sexual Offenses Act continues by stating
that “sexual assault can occur if the couple is legally
separated, in the process of divorce, or if there is a
restraining order in place.” Note that if she is in a
“normal” marriage relationship she loses her protection from
rape from her husband who was once her fiancée with whom she
had full protection.
The Sexual
Offenses Act reflects how seriously the Government takes
rape against anyone except against a wife by her husband.
Article 6 states: “Any person who —(a) commits rape; (b)
attempts to commit rape; or (c) assaults any person with
intent
to commit rape, is guilty of an offence and liable to
imprisonment for life.” If the female’s non-married
romantic partner rapes her she can legally file the charge
of rape and the rapist can go to prison for life. If that
same man after getting married to her, rapes her, she no
longer can file the charge of rape, thus he will not be
punished as a rapist.
Why would
marriage change all of that? It did not change it for the
charge of murder if the husband killed his wife. In this
case married women become second-class citizens under the
law. Why does this occur in our laws? Historically,
females have always been treated this way. Although both
male and female Blacks were no longer slaves after 1863 in
the United States and The Bahamas, female Blacks were not
given all the rights as male Blacks. Politically and
legally they were still second-class citizens. Black and
White women were equal—both could not vote.
They had to
fight for that right. Notice how slow the movement for women
to vote in the following countries that are close to us
was: The United states, 1920; Philippines, 1937; Jamaica,
1944; Trinidad, 1946; and Barbados and Haiti, 1950; Antigua
and Barbuda, 1951; Guyana, 1953; Ghana 1954; Ethiopia, 1955;
Nigeria, 1958; and The Bahamas, 1962. Why was The Bahamas
one of the last nations to get the message of vote equality?
This is still happening to our females today. Even with the
marital rape law, The Bahamas is the last country to pass it
in our Parliament.
Hence, I
warn all women that just saying “I do” and signing the
marriage certificate changes your status as a citizen of our
country. Her husband may not think of her that way, nor
treat her that way; but the law speaks volume to the
intrinsic value as a married woman and her right to equal
protection under the law.
Here is
another example of the sociological inequality of married
females. I wrote about it in 1999 in my article, “I Now
Pronounce You Man and Wife." I pointed out how during the
marriage ceremony both the bride and groom are honored by
the marriage officer using their first names and the
marriage officer commends them both for getting married.
Then something strange happens. At the end vows he says "I
now pronounce you man and wife." Why didn’t the marriage
officer say, “Husband and wife”? Although this practice is
not too often used today, it is indicative how we still
think about females–as subordinates. “I can assure you
that in most cases it is an expression of our concept of who
is really getting married: the woman. She becomes the bride
and the man remains a man. He does not become a husband.
"She is getting married to him, he is not getting married to
her," said an old-fashioned Bahamian father.
It is
amazing that in 1999 these thoughts and burden where on my
heart to write about. Note further my observations.
“Traditionally, the word "man" signifies control, in-charge,
strength, and leadership. Therefore, even during a wedding
ceremony, the pastor attempts not to take away his
leadership responsibilities. He must remain a man.
On the
other hand, as a way of showing the bride's dependence and
her position of subordination on her man, she is called the
"wife.” Thus, we have "man and wife." Then to make matters
worse, the woman’s loving character and personality is lost
when the pastor flies in the final scare tactic with the
words: "Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in The
Bahamas I proudly present, Mr. & Mrs. Robert Silver." Then
we hear the applause. But where did the wife go? I thought
she had a name! All through the ceremony the pastor was
addressing the bride directly by using her name. After the
legal and religious ceremonies are over, all of a sudden she
does not exist. She loses all identity. How shameful,
unfair, wrong, and unacceptable! I join all females today
to fight for their rights to be equal under the law.
We must
not let the violence of rape continue to devalue females and
especially, married females. Remember, rape is an act of
violence, power, and control. Marital rape is not an
imaginary notion, construed in the minds of lawyers or
politicians who want to please international agencies that
we, as Bahamians, follow blindly. No way. Marital rape is a
reality. It happens and we must have laws that protect
spouses’ rights and well-being and allow them to file
charges of rape. The longer we take to debate the topic and
to pass the law, the more we are re-victimizing the rape
victims in our society. Yes! Marital rape is a blow to
Family Life because it destroys the dignity, value, and
personhood of a woman.
Husbands
who are rapists should be treated no differently than single
men who rape women. It is not a lesser crime than stranger
or acquaintance rape. The painful part about marital rape
is that it is perpetrated by a supposedly “intimate
partner,” with whom one has invested trust and exposed the
most vulnerable parts of oneself–both emotionally and
physically. It is like a Praying Mantis not being aware
that his lover will actually devour him–eat his head
off--after having sex. What a shame!
It is time
for the State to stop carrying “the Church’s water.” The
Government should not allow the Church to sway in changing
the wording of the law from rape to “aggravated sexual
abuse.” Rape is rape. A good husband WILL NOT rape his
wife. Let us not be found guilty in the court of probity of
committing passive violence against married women.
Barrington H. Brennen, MA, NCP, BCCP, a
marriage and family therapist and board certified clinical
psychotherapist, USA. Send your questions or comments to
barringtonbrennen@gmail.com or write to P.O. Box
CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas, or visit
www.soencouragement.org or call 242-327-1980
