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Chat Notes for Thursday, March 19, 2015

Let's Chat About What's Approachable . . . BFF"

When should I choose a life partner? 

What are the guidelines for choosing a mate?



Remember to send your questions to barringtonbrenne@gmail.com

Or WhatsApp at 477 4002



On Monday I talk about the three most important decisions to make.  They are:

  • Your spiritual direction

  • Your occupational direction

  • Your social direction

On Tuesday we talked about sexual purity. What is sexual purity? “It is abstaining from all sexual encounters (emotionally and physically) before marriage and remaining faithful to your partner after marriage.”

Wednesday we talked about electronic gadgets and the wasted hours spent watching television or using these gadgets. I requested that you take all electronic gadgets out of your bedroom and do not watch TV for a week. It called it the Gadget Fast.

Today we are talking about relationships, romantic relationships and when should you start having a serious, romantic relationship.

Here’s the first question: It is wrong to have a boyfriend/girlfriend while I am in high school?

No. It is not wrong, as long as he or she is just a friend. However, it "boyfriend" means that it is a permanent-like, intense, love relationship, where go cannot sleep at nights unless you speak to each other and the relationship prevents the development of other friendship, then it is wrong. That kind of relationship is only for adults.

Here is a key text right here to think about. It is found in 1 Corinthians 10:31. I am reading to you from the Weymouth Translation.

“Whether, then, you are eating or drinking, or whatever you are doing, let everything be done to the glory of God.”

Every decision you make should be guided by God’s power, the Holy Spirit, within you. You do not want to make impulsive decisions.

The real question is can I “date” while I am in high school? Listen carefully. Here my own definition of the word dating.

Dating is a relationship with an end in mind or a relationship with focus.

Wikipedia Online Dictionary defines dating this way:

“Dating is any social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.”

“Dating is the activity of looking for a suitable partner for an intimate, sexual relationship.”

If you cannot make a decision on what and when the end will be then you are not old enough to date. The truth if you do not have an end in mind and cannot make a decision on the end, then the end that comes to mind will be a painful one.

If you are serious about not having sex before marriage then do not date. Wait until to reach an age when you can make a responsible, independent decision and feel confident about it.

Here is another way of saying it:

“If you deny there is no end in mind and say “we are only dating,” then there is a great risk that you will reach a painful end before it’s on your mind.”

For the Christian, the end in mind is marriage then sex. Everyone one of you within the sound of my voice today are too young to date or have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Why? At your age in addition to focusing on intellectual and moral development, you are unable to provide or support yourself, not make adult decisions that can impact your life permanently

Some of you seventeen and eighteen year old students think you are already adults. Although according to the law “adult” or “age of maturity” starts at age 18, you are not really an adult and marriage is for adults. You are in the category called adolescence. The period of adolescence end between ages 21 and 25.

What I found most revealing is that the 2004 research is suggesting that the age of majority (the legal age of adulthood) should not be 18 but 21. This is why mental health professionals sometimes refer to those 18 to 20 years as emerging adults not full adults.

Researchers at Harvard Medical School, the National Institute of Mental Health, UCLA and others are collaborating to “map” the development of the brain from childhood to adulthood and examine its implications. The results so far are astonishing. The article from the Juvenile Justice Center (USA) entitled, “Adolescence, Brain Development and Legal Culpability” states:

"The scientists, to their surprise, discovered that the teenage brain undergoes an intense overproduction of gray matter (the brain tissue that does the “thinking”). Then a period of “pruning” takes over, during which the brain discards gray matter at a rapid rate.” This process is similar to pruning a tree: Cutting back branches stimulates health and growth. This continues into the early 20s.”

“The evidence now is strong that the brain does not cease to mature until the early 20s in those relevant parts that govern impulsivity, judgment, planning for the future, foresight of consequences, and other characteristics that make people morally culpable. . . Indeed, age 21 or 22 would be closer to the ‘biological’ age of maturity.”

Student’s this is why you need supervision at your age. In marriage there is no supervision. No one standing by every hour to guide you.

Students, I want to apologize on behalf of the government of The Bahamas because we have confused you and mislead you.

We have decided by law that the age of sexual consent is 16, but the law states that the “more important decision” of voting can only be done after the 18th birthday? We have confused you. Here is another irony. While the age of sexual consent is 16, an age when a sexual encounter can destroy one’s life, the legal drinking age is 18.

Note these points:

Dating puts you out of circulation.
Dating hinders character development.
Dating at the wrong time causes emotional damage.

Students, let me share with you the steps towards a romantic relationship. They are

1. Eye to eye
2. Voice to voice
3. Hand to hand
4. Waist to waist
5. Shoulder to shoulder
6. Mouth to mouth
7. Body to body

When we miss steps we get in trouble.   Don't miss the steps.




Although it is not wise for you to choose a mate right now, there is one person you can and must choose before you choose a mate. And you can do that right now. That is Jesus.   John 3:16

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

Won’t you accept his today. Come forward those who want Jesus and those who want to get baptized as an Adventist Christian.


Change my heart oh God

Make it ever true

Change my heart oh God

May I be like You


You are the potter

I am the clay

Mold me and make me

This is what I pray


Change my heart oh God

Make it ever true

Change my heart oh God

May I be like You



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